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钱钟书:南北内斗算什么,真的地图炮就要对准全世界

即使在迷人的民国知识分子行列里JTU5ZTczNTVjYzQ4MTg=,钱钟书也算是幽默到近乎刻薄26b50a16ed95ee3bf1c329a17bbd5ca1,又刻薄得极其可爱的一位MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jZuQtsbegoqIm71liGiyqK2icf4b907d1b175dfa1258e848dbaaddf4ad241e5c

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjZuQtsbegoqIm72giGexqKmi

和许多还在南北差异、城乡文化的小视野里绕圈子的年轻文人不同MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjZuQtsbegoqIm72tiGi8tami,出身于书香世家MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjZuQtsbegoqIm72tiZu9y8-i,毕业于清华大学和牛津大学的钱钟书983bb8ed7311bfdf6667cf0cf5c7c3b0,在1947年出版的《围城》里JTU5ZTczNTVjYzRlYjI=,就已经用一支笔纵横东西MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6NpNKE3LCVgo2Am756fZ29oqGi。《围城》不单将中国现代知识分子的众生相刻画得入木三分6293c3c092a1d058ee39699eeca9e565,对欧美日各国也是毫不留情401c83ad85d0be83bf3bfc9ba29c6f7c,大开嘲讽ca3c00cd5b552c968ce6fc642c34534b8caf32b4de0afdfbb871d0ad33d2c204678ba9c2a5140eab

NTllNzM1NWNiZGMxNA==

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内容来源于钱钟书《围城》081273c2c52ffb9af42f0bfca38ff548613578b8

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-+-51dde7b640d9eb069cfeef24569b0e3d

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鲍小姐生长澳门9f9a8010ba4ac5f3a2456fb82b4f68fe37095941,据说身体里有葡萄牙人的血a42b185b0898a50cef484ce2a00992351948968e81bb2cf3b5a008b83361be41dc1fac1cedcb137a

JTU5ZTczNTVjYmVhYzM=

“葡萄牙人的血”这句话等于日本人说有本位文化d21b32bb7c9198fd30bf38d0b5244eb50f287b12,或私行改编外国剧本的作者声明他改本“有著作权XjU5ZTczNTVjYzU0ZTc=,不许翻译”MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jZuQtsbegoqIm71liZ-xk72i。因为葡萄牙人血里根本就混有中国成分MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjZuQtsbegoqIm71liaC826mi。而照鲍小姐的身材估量MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jZuQtsbegoqIm72tjGSwzrWi,她那位葡萄牙母亲也许还间接从西班牙传来阿拉伯人的血胤a6c7eef6785a7accc20da53b6a088c47KjU5ZTczNTVjYmVjMjI=

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MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjZuQtsbegoqIm72gjaCwqL2i

法国人在国际上的绰号是“虾蟆”ee9c314990919496a234dfedd6fe4323,真正名副其实28f7b496dbb1dec2cac033f7b620bd66d1a7b9a0,可惊的是添了一团凶横的兽相IzU5ZTczNTVjY2UzNjQ=。上海这地方比得上希腊神话里的魔女岛XjU5ZTczNTVjYzU5ZDA=,好好一个人来了就会变成畜生NTllNzM1NWNjZTRhNQ==。至于那安南巡捕更可笑了MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjZuQtsbegoqIm71ljGO9uK2i。东方民族没有像安南人地样形状委琐不配穿制服的41918351ae8fe6f3d00df898c87f96989f264437。日本人只是腿太短fe83d86e2bde1e93802337fbe63adb6d782262f1,不宜挂指挥刀e737f0d6f562a771c07a2a092e8087d9。安南人鸠形鹄面JTU5ZTczNTVjYzVjNDQ=,皮焦齿黑c7ef9f1922044cbf61db9447849b1bc53433ff1c,天生的鸦片鬼相NTllNzM1NWNjNWVkOA==,手里的警棍7077474f9d6fa3b2a0c81211871b668968199178,更像一支鸦片枪80622856d2f34adad87b856151a612658dbfbd12c75c7d992f3a638994e307ab10d7b56638b3d92e

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● 《围城》剧照 方鸿渐e5a068729661b90635628621e7c8f1eef475f17a

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方鸿渐吃韩家的晚饭82e7546ece5c39636da6f26085d0f3cadf7a2585,甚为满意036ad450f529789dc6f11389d641c9bba11af937。韩学愈虽然不说话MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jZuQtsbegoqIm72tkKu8y72i,款客的动作极周到;韩太太虽然相貌丑faea57f22b7896c2795ad9c62e052b23,红头发c73468838bdbd03de3e148ae5cf791c3,满脸雀斑IzU5ZTczNTVjYzY2N2U=,像面饼上苍蝇下的粪NTllNzM1NWNjNjdjZQ==,而举止活泼得通了电似的13cb0b0fbc77169001cee562991e040873fa8c5c6612aa3e97e7153575eaec300ae96f58

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjZuQtsbegoqIm72teKqx272i

鸿渐研究出西洋人的丑跟中国人不同:中国人丑得像造物者偷工减料的结果c8ea3eea1075190f9fa1b7aff47e4cd4c7d07646,潦草塞责的丑;西洋人丑得像造物者恶意的表现e167dbbc7099ba5d45d4b34f346fc165,存心跟脸上五官开玩笑MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjZuQtsbegoqIm72tkZu8tcui,所以丑得有计划MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjZuQtsbegoqIm72tkZy9tbGi,有作用325390d32961a4db64763d15f384a9822c2b37c2。韩太太口口声声爱中国3b29216e5438083757b056de9be21c0e9d4b26c9,可是又说在中国起居服食MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjZuQtsbegoqIm72tkZ-x27Gi,没有在纽约方便e33064b2f2805cd13f56c10e3c8adcd48526d805f0539edd0cdd3c7f9403854f

 43592fa167285e94406834d14bc45d678

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  -+-2eec8c0b4766fb9d530ae40f2a51a4cd9b214575

d1f3f592ca94b7157a37709dbbfea64b

那些学生虽然外国文不好KjU5ZTczNTVjYzcwZWE=,卷子上写的外国名字很神气f94e5b834a7ce13283b8571b5a44a6f8。有的叫亚利山大680866f346a879823a7f051ba175bed1,有的叫伊利沙白JjU5ZTczNTVjYzczNmI=,有的叫迭克XjU5ZTczNTVjYzc0Yzc=,有的叫“小花朵”(Florrie)KjU5ZTczNTVjYzc2MTQ=,有的人叫“火腿”(Bao)5a8722c2c19bdcd65a45a65b25f0d9f1,因为他中国名字叫“培根”MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjZuQtsbegoqIm71ljaC9uL2i。一个姓黄名伯仑的学生390607dfd57c05c7928e2b6b26721cddf9a1d17b,外国名字是诗人“摆伦”(Byro)6aa8e26088d8ebb401e809528edfae0976f8305b,辛楣见了笑道:“假使他姓张f0590524f18a027b841a829e1367ac9f,他准叫英国首相张伯伦(hamberlai);假使他姓齐JjU5ZTczNTVjYzdjYmQ=,他会变成德国飞机齐伯林(Zeppeli)d1aea4b16759d2754585d34baf29b9e0ca1502aa,甚至他可以叫拿坡仑ITU5ZTczNTVjYzdmM2E=,只要中国有跟‘拿’字声音相近的姓8f63fe853df9583e9f11f240115b4734。”鸿渐说MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjZuQtsbegoqIm72tm6CypaWi,中国人取外国名字MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jZuQtsbegoqIm72tnqq8zr2i,使他常想起英国的猪和牛287ac2418e15453dd7c22b79cfe920d5a7229f68,它的肉一上菜单就换了法国名称JjU5ZTczNTVjY2YzN2E=QDU5ZTczNTVjYzA5OTA=

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MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjZuQtsbegoqIm72teZ28y8ei

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● 《围城》剧照 赵辛楣MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjZuQtsbegoqIm72teaCxtbmi

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MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjZuQtsbegoqIm72tfGWwuLmi

这位张先生是浙江沿海人MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjZuQtsbegoqIm72tnq2xzr2i,名叫吉民IzU5ZTczNTVjYzg1YmE=,但他喜欢人唤他 JimmyMDAwMDAwMDAwMH6NpNKE3LCVgo2Am76dhZ6wsqGi。他在美国人花旗洋行里做了二十多年的事d711342e1f91ca286debb43968b3d4bfb95fdcee,从“写字”(小书记)升到买办MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjZuQtsbegoqIm72tnmawk7Gi,手里着实有钱IzU5ZTczNTVjY2Y2MTE=。只生一个女儿d1b4aef0828f0f9dbf7ce979d9468ea6,不惜工本地栽培XjU5ZTczNTVjYzhhY2E=,教会学校里所能传授熏陶的洋本领、洋习气IzU5ZTczNTVjYzhjMDA=,美容院理发铺所能制造的洋时髦、洋姿态ea1a25684f823f59587a4a26966b1560a71dbdaf,无不应有尽有47e85b4cc24a1ce299aa2c436295ee9f1b192232ba921dbc271e3ddc7dde8c45594203b9db57bdd7

到了张家MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjZuQtsbegoqIm72tn56ytbWi,张先生热闹地欢迎道:“Hello! Doctor 方MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjZuQtsbegoqIm72tn5-8k7Gi,好久不见!”张先生跟外国人来往惯了226737915a48e245e234c5e194c9ccb0,说话有个特征——也许在洋行、青年会、扶轮社等圈子里09bcb4ea4d4537f1d84a6e7787c056195eb8dcbe,这并没有什么奇特——喜欢中国话里夹无谓的英文字NTllNzM1NWNjZjhiNw==KjU5ZTczNTVjYzFhMWU=

IzU5ZTczNTVjYzFiNjE=

他并无中文难达的新意JjU5ZTczNTVjYzkzNjg=,需要借英文来讲;所以他说话里嵌的英文字MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jZuQtsbegoqIm72toq28uL2i,还比不得嘴里嵌的金牙557e5d5f0ca2af46c74298b6b106fa0a,因为金牙不仅妆点f5440eb38a3e4daa7aa245e51f54f6b7b390092d,尚可使用MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjZuQtsbegoqIm72tomax26Wi,只好比牙缝里嵌的肉屑ebc9e8efa08ae0b77a67613dd44660984cc8b4be,表示饭菜吃得好1e19d0cfbdaac8d471c7ddb2157035cd,此外全无用处MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jZuQtsbegoqIm71lkGe9zrmiNTllNzM1NWNjMWNlZQ==

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他仿美国人读音49fedceab84677e336b6a04a2d83a714,维妙维肖ITU5ZTczNTVjYzlkOWI=,也许鼻音学得太过火了08aebcae47da863bf4af71f9fcdbf447,不像美国人MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjZuQtsbegoqIm72to6CxpbWi,而像伤风塞鼻子的中国人MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjZuQtsbegoqIm71lkZuwk72i。他说 "very well" 二字a6c6fe5d05ef11c6a91b7b36943e3155,声音活像小洋狗在咕噜——"vurry wul" KjU5ZTczNTVjY2ZjNTg=。可惜罗马人无此耳福a64216946e2da064a281e07a20126f04c62c7997,否则决不单说 R 是鼻音的狗字母ed889876b4fab3267e47260fec8222ef47339532。当时张先生跟鸿渐拉手MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjZuQtsbegoqIm71lfKy9zrGi,问他是不是天天“Go downtown”743e7386d38641d5ca26b7fdcd1271ee0a2b3a69NTllNzM1NWNjMWZiMQ==

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjZuQtsbegoqIm72tfaC9zrGi

鸿渐寒喧已毕6790cffc59372e83fb4a223e47ec4c1580d05a4b,瞧玻璃橱里都是碗、瓶、碟子NTllNzM1NWNjYTY3Yw==,便说:“张先生喜欢收藏磁器?”NTllNzM1NWNjMjI4ZA==

“Sure! Have a look see!” 张先生打开橱门MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjZuQtsbegoqIm71lfGW827Gi,请鸿渐赏鉴89fd664f8a102b2d1bed8fd74cec488168c36c21。鸿渐拿了几件MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjZuQtsbegoqIm71lfGa9y8-i,看都是“成化”、“宣德”、“康熙”JTU5ZTczNTVjY2FhMjM=,也不识真假724b52b4510a8462cb15d5650956c5a7,只好说:“这东西很值钱罢?”JDU5ZTczNTVjYzIzZGM=

“Sure! 值不少钱呢MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjZuQtsbegoqIm71lfZyytcei,plenty of doughITU5ZTczNTVjZDAxMmU=。并且这东西不比书画MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jZuQtsbegoqIm753eKux26Wi。买书画买了假的d856b53c7a7dbca50a51f0b6413c97fd,一文不值QDU5ZTczNTVjY2FmMDQ=,只等于 waste paperMDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjZuQtsbegoqIm753eKyytami。磁器假的MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjZuQtsbegoqIm71lfaCxpcui,至少还可以盛饭ITU5ZTczNTVjZDA0YTY=。我有时请外国 friends 吃饭e7a84b18baed0d8613bbbb2cdd4065ad,就用那个康熙窑 '油底蓝五彩' 大盘做 saladdish23add5ae16aa5ce391c5ca0650c1335ea7bfe650,他们都觉得古色古香4fa10f18c651acc197fcb0db7a90029225932f62,菜的味道也有点 old-timeXjU5ZTczNTVjZDA1YzY=。”555c802e6398ea1707a724bd71ce67c8

方鸿渐道:“张先生眼光一定好MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjZuQtsbegoqIm71lgGOwtcei,不会买假东西MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjZuQtsbegoqIm753eGWwpcui。”MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjZuQtsbegoqIm72tgGSxy8ei

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MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjZuQtsbegoqIm72tgZ2wpbWi

● 《围城》剧照bc737dc91a8ae3e61b1b08bea823d9e6

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张先生大笑道:“我不懂什么年代花纹MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jZuQtsbegoqIm71lgGSxuLWi,事情忙MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjZuQtsbegoqIm71lgGW8y6Wi,也没工夫翻书研究beba63a0a17051b947dc7ad20b6cf1b4。可是我有 hunch;看见一件东西MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jZuQtsbegoqIm71lgGa9qL2i,忽然 what d' you call 灵机一动78c1d625e759951ebe5f1c6880167bc78aa160a5,买来准 O.K.4fc2e5aeb893de4f642240cb2f3dfacc6c1ac42a。他们古董掮客都佩服我IzU5ZTczNTVjY2JiMjQ=,我常对他们说: '不用拿假货来 fool 我d34a2479ff0691a1d31e70b027875932f4025213。O yeahe834145212085117de77368e2986958a,我姓张的不是 suckera17dc4c2597722e5b626acc29f53970338671be8,休想骗我!' ”关上橱门MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjZuQtsbegoqIm71lgZ69uKmi,又说:“咦92164303ce8f29c5fd1977ca045dbeaa012cd971,headache——”便捺电铃叫用人bf0078dd3f2b2557771d00c5c226a0a36b8777d2e6086e8f556373bd58849fb9a6ef70a2b6437637

KjU5ZTczNTVjYzMzOTY=

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张太太上海话比丈夫讲得好f72fbb3e7fe3f14a5cf811d05db68d6618ebe91c,可是时时流露本乡土音NTllNzM1NWNjYzI4MQ==,仿佛罩褂太小7c022367b1bd4bc25050283be2cec09f,遮不了里面的袍子0952b87085d6cc806337eed1c6a4985a。张太太信佛JTU5ZTczNTVjY2M0ZWQ=,自说天天念十遍“白衣观世音咒”ce5e6d129dccba9f0cb34982f4afd5d7f1dff89f,求菩萨保佑中国军队打胜;又说这观音咒灵验得很MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jZuQtsbegoqIm71lhGWxuL2i,上海打仗最紧急时a0d69db4f93dd5f534b219506e179d22,张先生到外滩行里去办公MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6NpNKE3LCVgo2Am72tn52ysqGi,自己在家里念MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjZuQtsbegoqIm71lhZuwpbmi,果然张先生从没遭到流弹b6f41c0d00950103dff499f402a85637。鸿渐暗想享受了最新的西洋徉学设备MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jZuQtsbegoqIm71lhZyw262i,而竟抱这种信爷MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjZuQtsbegoqIm71lhZ2xy6Wi,坐在热水管烘暖的客堂里念佛1801584124f18a9f0e18ea0891dab72b38d9abe1,可见“西学为用9396cd996fb3f360a7807010d45382dc,中学为体”并非难事MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjZuQtsbegoqIm753eZ-wtc-i8ebf282dff5512c2ab86db727ba985ab

XjU5ZTczNTVjYzNkM2U=

他和张小姐没有多少可谈MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jZuQtsbegoqIm71liKqwtcui,只好问她爱看什么电影836df59c5a9047761f48aa730f6e7463。跟着两个客人来了87cb57119c07a3ae1a9a4911f4900766,都是张先生的结义弟兄MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6NpNKE3LCVgo2AnLGHeGa82KGi。一个叫陈士屏MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjZuQtsbegoqIm71liKyxy72i,是欧美烟草公司的高等职员MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjZuQtsbegoqIm71liK2yqLmi,大家唤他Z.B.46233ff29f1a1f1ff2238860738df565,仿佛德文里“有例为证”的缩写MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjZuQtsbegoqIm753fKuyuL2i。一个叫丁讷生XjU5ZTczNTVjY2Q2ZDU=,外国名字倒不是诗人Tennyson而是海军大将NelsonMDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjZuQtsbegoqIm71liGawtc-i,也在什么英国轮船公司做事ITU5ZTczNTVjZDEzOWM=MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6NpNKE3LCVgo2Am7FliZuyoqGi

3f5e78290483af2317139adb14bd1c6b0bbb6a52

 ITU5ZTczNTVjYzQxNmQ=

 ee190e437960274d2b3b9493fa00a725

——内容节选自《围城》IzU5ZTczNTVjYzQzZjc=

1947年上海晨光出版公司初版MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjZuQtsbegoqIm71liGexpaWi,1980年作者重新修订8ff4fe0eed2351b639bbae2b28e4220b

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjZuQtsbegoqIm72tiGSypcei

 

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