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钱钟书:南北内斗算什么,真的地图炮就要对准全世界

即使在迷人的民国知识分子行列里60cd58f70c6e48abcbdbbf27d6f324a77c2f205a,钱钟书也算是幽默到近乎刻薄ITViNGYxOWJmZDVhNTA=,又刻薄得极其可爱的一位MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-Eqbzcg418nr56iGe9uL2iXjViNGYxOWJmY2ZlNjY=

145feb8303a6d964ab6ae2cf1fbc4ab8

和许多还在南北差异、城乡文化的小视野里绕圈子的年轻文人不同2ace9a648af7e505fbc83bc8102647fd6394a97b,出身于书香世家JDViNGYxOWJmZDVjOGI=,毕业于清华大学和牛津大学的钱钟书JjViNGYxOWJmZDVkYTg=,在1947年出版的《围城》里MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-Eqbzcg418nr53jZ69uK2i,就已经用一支笔纵横东西b86b51d171a9ab7f2ffbd86aeb92af67511d2267。《围城》不单将中国现代知识分子的众生相刻画得入木三分MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKiZjaOMnLKKkKq9sqGi,对欧美日各国也是毫不留情077a7183d572afc7029e0f5bce2f9903,大开嘲讽MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-Eqbzcg418nr56iZywy8eibc8bfd2c16b07a980c99632a77d4a90c

69152484a1f69ab49cdd2ade65cbd4e4c8363b67

ITViNGYxOWJmZDAyYmE=

IzViNGYxOWJmZDAzYzk=

JjViNGYxOWJmZDA0ZDg=

内容来源于钱钟书《围城》bbbeeccd749f249361561f111a1c6b12

MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-Eqbzcg418nr53eGWw272i

fdec536d6e58f0ed5e97172517f37426d1169127

 1d97c8ae6036004b510f7e06dffeba6a0

-+-MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-Eqbzcg418nr53eGixy8ui

7ae16a89026b86941d156228180a7db8

鲍小姐生长澳门JjViNGYxOWJmZDYyMWY=,据说身体里有葡萄牙人的血dbdb1ee806efa46b2d2dec09d026387933c762a289a799fd82d79f79d6a66c7874c98582abaaf9d6

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-Eqbzcg418nr53eZ2yuL2i

“葡萄牙人的血”这句话等于日本人说有本位文化ITViNGYxOWJmZDYzMzc=,或私行改编外国剧本的作者声明他改本“有著作权d618ed376e9c0423db53f4e154d9751a8774d100,不许翻译”1ba927c061119bf05e1ed2c86def2ec0。因为葡萄牙人血里根本就混有中国成分3b530a9280f98d7a3a790d9fa23451ec。而照鲍小姐的身材估量ce253fec7185aa118fec8bed649dcef8,她那位葡萄牙母亲也许还间接从西班牙传来阿拉伯人的血胤JDViNGYxOWJmZGUwNmM=b324985aae5479adc18a42fde702b21758f5eb00

2ba2faaeb0002be25f093960c40748ab9

 -+-MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-Eqbzcg418nr53eaC9pcui

MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-Eqbzcg418nr53fKq9tb2i

法国人在国际上的绰号是“虾蟆”KjViNGYxOWJmZDY2OWE=,真正名副其实JjViNGYxOWJmZDY3YjI=,可惊的是添了一团凶横的兽相1fe9ac8c2a9fa8aac9bf9a259424e81e40569bbf。上海这地方比得上希腊神话里的魔女岛MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-Eqbzcg418nr53kGa9y7mi,好好一个人来了就会变成畜生90dcd7199e25abd230749254d5ba3539。至于那安南巡捕更可笑了MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKiZjaOMnL6HgZ-9oqGi。东方民族没有像安南人地样形状委琐不配穿制服的JjViNGYxOWJmZGU0ZGE=。日本人只是腿太短7f4b1027d5d63e9b55f356fa78f7c3687d624c81,不宜挂指挥刀ba2db140aaf96e1d665f60ff4a355eb65687fdd3。安南人鸠形鹄面8a7158cbcd12d507d085a66da5b9b914,皮焦齿黑MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-Eqbzcg418nr53kZywk6mi,天生的鸦片鬼相094c4346b6e6fc2493f4d21371637df1,手里的警棍IzViNGYxOWJmZDZlNTI=,更像一支鸦片枪654b8bba8c10779b7f815b770adaf038d533c595KjViNGYxOWJmZDEyYzk=

9f03a2602c030817e0a9a30584aefe58

IzViNGYxOWJmZDE0ZTU=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-Eqbzcg418nr53fGSwy72i

83e973d841bf90aa3ab88b6d3fd3e3d33d0299a0

● 《围城》剧照 方鸿渐77d51dc29a4b0bd0d5a7049fedb641d90b719fa0

c50e41fb07894597c03a01c9aec5c50c98356b46

c699d196596c461b3d537d30585eb23f5e35a1a5

 3e51c3e38cef6b228eb7668028ad2b7756bd23b03

-+-JTViNGYxOWJmZDFjNGM=

JjViNGYxOWJmZDFkNjk=

方鸿渐吃韩家的晚饭f223a5594e8c9e38cf8db27edd13210e,甚为满意d81189b3962c49fe2b28314fdea5342e。韩学愈虽然不说话b98249148ee535afe50089914b3efe57,款客的动作极周到;韩太太虽然相貌丑e6749dfe8a94e7ad3940526b355a45938b36cb0f,红头发7c16f7bbbf00d3206a9a9f43441a9aee49a900f0,满脸雀斑JjViNGYxOWJmZDczZDQ=,像面饼上苍蝇下的粪JjViNGYxOWJmZDc0ZWY=,而举止活泼得通了电似的MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-Eqbzcg418nr56jGeypc-if97bc54776c70790b809ad7d3f8daf180a652316

7567bda71e474fa02789eb07fc4aaf098ae14236

鸿渐研究出西洋人的丑跟中国人不同:中国人丑得像造物者偷工减料的结果2a2971f2d998bd1dae549814bfe4b7f7,潦草塞责的丑;西洋人丑得像造物者恶意的表现d0d83ae316876154363e43dbdae16144,存心跟脸上五官开玩笑MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-Eqbzcg418nr53mmaxy72i,所以丑得有计划11afa39af6c49e8878f56d040bc686722ddc0f1f,有作用2efdcb979987c0329f1dc9a07fa68b480c37ca1d。韩太太口口声声爱中国da5c4f5bf602d949af97658f576934ad4a72704b,可是又说在中国起居服食fd5467ff79ff27affaaf99afa6bfc212,没有在纽约方便be569b3bb708b31fbadbbb228d7368cdacafa73537e8813018c72ed02e5ddaef7b0bb722

 47a47eafe4b1c80f1365b5ed24ff0e45dc85bbdc4

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-Eqbzcg418nr53gKywy7Wi

  -+-17371520304d05390d5d9e0cc9e950e9

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-Eqbzcg418nr53gGOxtc-i

那些学生虽然外国文不好QDViNGYxOWJmZDdjODE=,卷子上写的外国名字很神气MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-Eqbzcg418nr56jZy9pami。有的叫亚利山大MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-Eqbzcg418nr53m52826mi,有的叫伊利沙白fc583eecafc48b292c4d2055f4da392e,有的叫迭克NWI0ZjE5YmZkN2ZiYw==,有的叫“小花朵”(Florrie)311fa7a6a5421b7ee7655424811116474d83f2aa,有的人叫“火腿”(Bao)MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-Eqbzcg418nr53nquwqLmi,因为他中国名字叫“培根”KjViNGYxOWJmZGVkY2M=。一个姓黄名伯仑的学生MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-Eqbzcg418nr53nqywuLGi,外国名字是诗人“摆伦”(Byro)NWI0ZjE5YmZkODQwMw==,辛楣见了笑道:“假使他姓张MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKiZjaOMnLN3iGO9oqGi,他准叫英国首相张伯伦(hamberlai);假使他姓齐afac815a1ef1a615f253c08d0d11ecf1,他会变成德国飞机齐伯林(Zeppeli)QDViNGYxOWJmZDg3Mzg=,甚至他可以叫拿坡仑de49fefdf8d93b0689e40306beeae53c,只要中国有跟‘拿’字声音相近的姓MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-Eqbzcg418nr56jZ-wqL2i。”鸿渐说1e81a89cad43c014ddf1793c03afc77227489fce,中国人取外国名字MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-Eqbzcg418nr53nmi8uL2i,使他常想起英国的猪和牛MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-Eqbzcg418nr53n5u828ei,它的肉一上菜单就换了法国名称cc1331f68621698f0986dc750d2891e4ff9f407f52847e6a9306832ce7bd2e019758766f

3258851e19e9aae75cc0317283b389bc9a6ecb47

NWI0ZjE5YmZkMjg5MA==

48094984bee5d1aa9755532e4f766a85

ed7c73be9a4e77b7a4f815edbaca1602cd686ba3

● 《围城》剧照 赵辛楣MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-Eqbzcg418nr53gZywqKmi

NWI0ZjE5YmZkMmNmYw==

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-Eqbzcg418nr53gZ6wk72i

 5de657cd04e66b4d866ac85d8746df5d9

-+-d35ed8660e9e79c342c55f5246e250425d073d30

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-Eqbzcg418nr53hKqyqL2i

这位张先生是浙江沿海人6873ac6b6dd47a473165fcf95de06105d8640e1d,名叫吉民5034d2691ed2cdcaec1562af5a6327697b5124fe,但他喜欢人唤他 Jimmy2f1b7c6d24fe078ff2e626a0b098978d。他在美国人花旗洋行里做了二十多年的事IzViNGYxOWJmZDhlZWI=,从“写字”(小书记)升到买办MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-Eqbzcg418nr53n6CwzrWi,手里着实有钱2994609f91afe7fb28af89a2bf7717fb3aab1142。只生一个女儿QDViNGYxOWJmZDkxMjA=,不惜工本地栽培101b4c8ba8dcb6eebc43cb63f915a6bed154ef45,教会学校里所能传授熏陶的洋本领、洋习气47b5fd9a1172d95a03177368ce8fbbf41f0d5cf6,美容院理发铺所能制造的洋时髦、洋姿态ITViNGYxOWJmZDk0Nzc=,无不应有尽有2c97590d536155b436ee906a5aaffe2a28ac5bed40699f1fc93b2d8f1471e7da

到了张家QDViNGYxOWJmZDk1OGU=,张先生热闹地欢迎道:“Hello! Doctor 方307d96a75e91c8d8fd621aabd5dd74bb,好久不见!”张先生跟外国人来往惯了IzViNGYxOWJmZDk3YmU=,说话有个特征——也许在洋行、青年会、扶轮社等圈子里e4dcaac6dd761eeda0c5b7c5a8b7dc72,这并没有什么奇特——喜欢中国话里夹无谓的英文字JjViNGYxOWJmZGY0NjM=IzViNGYxOWJmZDMzYTQ=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-Eqbzcg418nr53hK29tcei

他并无中文难达的新意MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-Eqbzcg418nr53omiwtc-i,需要借英文来讲;所以他说话里嵌的英文字85266b8611a1176feadc14d30c0284dc5606dad8,还比不得嘴里嵌的金牙ec834e446433b21c6d5f7b5796a14b9e,因为金牙不仅妆点0eb848b93c465edc9d6c89bcdef4ef1cebf1075f,尚可使用c54304d5fcc4924fd0073e9fff725b7b8b3237fd,只好比牙缝里嵌的肉屑ITViNGYxOWJmZDlmNmI=,表示饭菜吃得好1c80376d1ad4b67d0ed95d30bd7eea006fac39d3,此外全无用处MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-Eqbzcg418nr56kGO8tceicc7aec75c324a25a8845e136cdd8b97c

MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-Eqbzcg418nr53hGWwtcei

他仿美国人读音7aa1e2cfaae5ea10687aa7cdc57b408553673c22,维妙维肖KjViNGYxOWJmZGEyYmU=,也许鼻音学得太过火了MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-Eqbzcg418nr56fK2wpaWi,不像美国人ec5c9787a32b41a0b5fd7511b42e7dd4,而像伤风塞鼻子的中国人6ebbe24f915ac39090400a68c3b9d87d。他说 "very well" 二字IzViNGYxOWJmZGE2MDk=,声音活像小洋狗在咕噜——"vurry wul" 62aceb780c448343ec21b398377f2ed4a351037b。可惜罗马人无此耳福3faae24685ad38594920ae00ec18fc8c2e0688b9,否则决不单说 R 是鼻音的狗字母41cc3b2b56e8cbde04a14d2395b00baf4b4212ad。当时张先生跟鸿渐拉手627e735405c2a9b3bc7c79150f0e53ca,问他是不是天天“Go downtown”MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-Eqbzcg418nr56kGiwta2ic1c94a80154140c853d05ad4b2b9e6defdd6da0e

QDViNGYxOWJmZDM5MzA=

鸿渐寒喧已毕MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-Eqbzcg418nr56fGex28-i,瞧玻璃橱里都是碗、瓶、碟子KjViNGYxOWJmZGFhNjU=,便说:“张先生喜欢收藏磁器?”JTViNGYxOWJmZDNhNDg=

“Sure! Have a look see!” 张先生打开橱门MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-Eqbzcg418nr56fZu8tcui,请鸿渐赏鉴752f5bc50cf1f65bd22899a10a122b16。鸿渐拿了几件2b35d69fff1081d7e9f08aa3aa9f0870,看都是“成化”、“宣德”、“康熙”ff764f5889a5fd0ecbffba4a5ef5edf33215a4bc,也不识真假7c75a4533cdc0ce2adda26a6a60f3572aa9a5857,只好说:“这东西很值钱罢?”JjViNGYxOWJmZDNiNWY=

“Sure! 值不少钱呢MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-Eqbzcg418nr56faCwtami,plenty of doughc32e174772aeff1c9e8d728276981bedc9e608ab。并且这东西不比书画NWI0ZjE5YmZkZmQ0MA==。买书画买了假的d8a148f956b0ceb40cec976251234850,一文不值MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-Eqbzcg418nr56gKuxpaWi,只等于 waste paperJDViNGYxOWJmZGZlNTc=。磁器假的MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-Eqbzcg418nr56gKyxuLWi,至少还可以盛饭8f5acf5674d492c660511c081b0eaedb88d91586。我有时请外国 friends 吃饭KjViNGYxOWJmZGI0NGU=,就用那个康熙窑 '油底蓝五彩' 大盘做 saladdishMDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-Eqbzcg418nr56gGOytami,他们都觉得古色古香MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-Eqbzcg418nr56gGS8uLWi,菜的味道也有点 old-timeMDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-Eqbzcg418nr56kaC8y6mi。”IzViNGYxOWJmZDNjNzY=

方鸿渐道:“张先生眼光一定好MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-Eqbzcg418nr56gGW827mi,不会买假东西e1ede1a7d2c4620e265dba967854d764。”d0d1b636cabbba49b4567ba140f9c78f

KjViNGYxOWJmZDNlYTU=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-Eqbzcg418nr53hZ-9tcui

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-Eqbzcg418nr53iKqwpb2i

KjViNGYxOWJmZDQxZjI=

KjViNGYxOWJmZDQzMGE=

● 《围城》剧照IzViNGYxOWJmZDQ0MjA=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-Eqbzcg418nr53iGOxy7Gi

7ab9158f5be79efbcf82fee85315bb7320f4577f

张先生大笑道:“我不懂什么年代花纹d988cb3949c1a71a4368c09a48391a3f,事情忙8d8271c0bbfe66cfe00f1e8af3d663b9,也没工夫翻书研究MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-Eqbzcg418nr6HeKu9ta2i。可是我有 hunch;看见一件东西JjViNGYxOWJmZGJhZmM=,忽然 what d' you call 灵机一动40279d71e45806270388c78dd9990124506ec3a1,买来准 O.K.MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-Eqbzcg418nr6HeKy9y8-i。他们古董掮客都佩服我5c216b9bb91a93888ea334e9b6617f8f7eacd2b9,我常对他们说: '不用拿假货来 fool 我MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-Eqbzcg418nr6HeGOwtaWi。O yeahXjViNGYxOWJmZGJlNGM=,我姓张的不是 sucker9684ef39821df89e32365b6ded00a592,休想骗我!' ”关上橱门ITViNGYxOWJmZGMwN2Y=,又说:“咦MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-Eqbzcg418nr56hKq826mi,headache——”便捺电铃叫用人MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-Eqbzcg418nr6HeGSwy8ui7edf1a65bf77e14ed536fa0ee0d96958

IzViNGYxOWJmZDQ4OTc=

NWI0ZjE5YmZkNDliYw==

6a3b74db5105d0b1a19386a847c93f4670909750e

 -+-268b7949bf609af72b52e866c0ac4830

e623e5985e0098c7303629fae547f909

XjViNGYxOWJmZDRlMjU=

张太太上海话比丈夫讲得好ITViNGYxOWJmZGMyYWM=,可是时时流露本乡土音d876fc7c9ea26b5a9783f41730d19378,仿佛罩褂太小MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-Eqbzcg418nr56hGOwpbmi,遮不了里面的袍子MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-Eqbzcg418nr6HeGWxpami。张太太信佛15f6907e7bad682978fcbeae0739e0adad8d262e,自说天天念十遍“白衣观世音咒”11c74d0a63b6fc89a990805eff9ebdd9d20f45fb,求菩萨保佑中国军队打胜;又说这观音咒灵验得很MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-Eqbzcg418nr56hGaxtami,上海打仗最紧急时0c72d39ed585fae13c4d0376eae17e6fca0cab4d,张先生到外滩行里去办公MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-Eqbzcg418nr56hGiypc-i,自己在家里念038b125b803613d7f81819c081c08d7ebdadeb5d,果然张先生从没遭到流弹KjViNGYxOWJmZTA4MzQ=。鸿渐暗想享受了最新的西洋徉学设备XjViNGYxOWJmZGNjOGQ=,而竟抱这种信爷XjViNGYxOWJmZGNkYTQ=,坐在热水管烘暖的客堂里念佛651cb0e6744b47cc0440363bd063bb08f1f363d4,可见“西学为用MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-Eqbzcg418nr56haCwpcei,中学为体”并非难事MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKiZjaOMnbF3nma9oqGi3c895da1c83fe686a34d9bb792989f70

fa25660528e87664997f120f82d29b5b828266b7

他和张小姐没有多少可谈MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-Eqbzcg418nr56iKqwuLWi,只好问她爱看什么电影MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-Eqbzcg418nr6HeGiytcei。跟着两个客人来了MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-Eqbzcg418nr56iKuwk6mi,都是张先生的结义弟兄JDViNGYxOWJmZTBiODM=。一个叫陈士屏356132ca105a5baeb22bc974499dde97004fc8ed,是欧美烟草公司的高等职员MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-Eqbzcg418nr56iK2x26Wi,大家唤他Z.B.MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-Eqbzcg418nr56iGOypcei,仿佛德文里“有例为证”的缩写JDViNGYxOWJmZTBjOWI=。一个叫丁讷生XjViNGYxOWJmZGQ2NzQ=,外国名字倒不是诗人Tennyson而是海军大将Nelsonb05dfb54fde752d66233c015368ce12a,也在什么英国轮船公司做事37175c36620a951de0e8cca9a9b4856a1849368eJTViNGYxOWJmZDUxNzE=

cb8e8af2b0ec456e897f602a8c0eb655

 MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-Eqbzcg418nr53jKy8k7Gi

 ec87c697738a991f3e4b8a187067d79e48a539b2

——内容节选自《围城》MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-Eqbzcg418nr53jGO9zr2i

1947年上海晨光出版公司初版01009fe62167218b1bf31049adbb01c9,1980年作者重新修订JTViNGYxOWJmZDU2ZjQ=

7f066d9e3ae0d1a64830d949f4b36e94

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