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好朋友在背后说我坏话,被我知道后……

255bac7a87117b71e087aae354ee4e38a891d77d

01NWJhNzAyMzE3M2M4MQ==

07c90c09bf396750c03321c6ab497b38

前几天MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKq8taWi,学姐在上班路上遇到了断交3年的“朋友”NWJhNzAyMzE3NDBiMg==,见到她的那一刻40288546cb840217abd5ae21d8aba37b2effc8bc,学姐的心情就像过山车一样起伏不定b2f942a511d750c8fbb7faad9e31e606e8557ff53363a83a64313c9811eb265cb5b6fd05

9dfad1715e3e1f6568e6948a1e23052b3264a28e

这位“好朋友”IzViYTcwMjMxNzQwYzM=,暂时叫她TT吧NWJhNzAyMzE3NDU0Zg==JTViYTcwMjMxNzNjYTQ=

c5355cd67e343e768c100672f08c35eb

TT和学姐是大学同学e1b706152c1be3a4a984acac95b2dbcf881872e5,毕业后进了同一家公司ff77064d6532fa0e96081cc86b06a993,之后一起合租过一年房子55d4a936bd7939e23c2e4357cbdbf094。那个时候ITViYTcwMjMxNzQwZGI=,死党、家人都不在身边JjViYTcwMjMxNzQwZTQ=,TT是学姐唯一愿意掏心掏肺的人d2200d8d92e6f88291062e8b2c3aea58。当时NWJhNzAyMzE3NDBlZg==,我以为我们可以当一辈子朋友JTViYTcwMjMxNzQwZjc=,却没想过MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKq9y8ui,TT会对我做出那样的事......NWJhNzAyMzE3M2NiYg==

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ28zrWi

QDViYTcwMjMxNzNjZDE=

40c77147ed3e097653aad666a1faf9f589d3a0e9

 acf9be517ea2b837cc2b52c65cf2b0ecd54e8c14

MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6Qgs6E3KTdgbB3ZLFlhZ-xyKGi

那是工作后的第一年36fe3fa66f9865b90f9bbd8c1d8d7b07。上级向学姐透露升职的事5cc49e4dd34efdd96b877fb2f0bdd15d,可后来不知为什么MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKuwpcei,升上去的却是其他人5fdccb635a2685f93a9ab6e9eb419220cf3e3dd178fa672afe51c6cf62b98d99

de8e4c8920d422e8b9df1721ffb80a1928f70337

一段时间后5d277e4b17b13bc20796c3f935d5d832,有同事悄悄告诉学姐49f939117f040e4fbcfc5b20961e768d,TT其实一直在背后说学姐偷懒c4df38fbd1b26597cf4a4bde3d1bd652,不好好工作JTViYTcwMjMxNzQxMzA=,还不愿意加班之类0ef705a14818eea782c97f4dc260a770。这些流言很快传进领导耳朵里97d18968cf3b50787ceda7c2cefa03c7976883d9,领导觉得学姐不可靠MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKuw28-i,就换了人KjViYTcwMjMxNzQ1ODg=。可实际上8e2f9d47e3eaa656d653f6d360491426,学姐当时私下对TT说的是JDViYTcwMjMxNzQxNTY=,上班期间要努力提高工作效率MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKuxtcei,尽量准时下班!99d74bb2203cc00cdd214f12e9acd99b71e18393

NWJhNzAyMzE3M2QxMA==

学姐去找TT求证610683277ae44677d01829bf59463a96521bca86,结果正好撞上她在同事面前贬低学姐NWJhNzAyMzE3NDU5MQ==。学姐没忍住1cc35aedc380f15215f513a935ef7dfa3c431067,跟TT撕了一场520c23f81d9f1ace2ebe57f1a748bfe6。撕完之后MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKux26Wi,学姐没觉得畅快8737ccf0f9e17fb86af026ceca9eaf8c7453f88f,反而哭了很久JjViYTcwMjMxNzQ1YTE=。后来0d5d7eca557847b759edaeb11a5ab7f6,学姐搬了家QDViYTcwMjMxNzQxOTA=,跟TT彻底断了联系f0bc52bb4fd537ab39cd335c5ac24657035184d47fa8e0bdbd5d39538e11ff15

ee185befa7589c5e387994f256184362

之后MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKuytami,学姐和别人相处的时候IzViYTcwMjMxNzQxYTA=,会经常想起TT做过的事15b9b990766305de535ce765d9d91d2ed886a786,这让学姐很害怕b9b1e21d21e2707496364487157ce429,总忍不住担心对方会耍花招MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGS8uLGi。因此2b5ba5fcde11d66e94b19d6122eb8d44,在很长一段时间里ccbcdebb69956ab6f335f7ff9345c68dffa13f5b,学姐都刻意与人保持距离20284ea58738d0d0367660ad369ce1dfJjViYTcwMjMxNzNkMmE=

bc01aa9b67631785f49ebd890657f1ac

如今三年过去了bfc57eeceaa0c00d468278330df3c012c0110a50,学姐以为自己早已释怀4a31cfcb1d23bd4c2509b3fc846fe74f,可再次见到TTff137709fe6e77aaf6dbb087bb47855f92aeced8,不安的感觉又浮了上来NWJhNzAyMzE3NDVjOQ==MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6Qgs6E3KTdgbB3ZLFliK2xyKGi

 KjViYTcwMjMxNzNkNDU=

好友散播的流言MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6Qgs6E3KTdgbB3ZLJ3fZ69sqGi,无异于一次心理重创NWJhNzAyMzE3NDVkMg==MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ6xpb2i

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ6xqL2i

这绝不是学姐矫情MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGS9pbGi。流言这东西92a621706f11ec7a20df2bb5c5df4977,比流感蔓延的速度更快JjViYTcwMjMxNzQxZjU=,比流星所蕴含的能量更巨大53a5c8d1ce27fdb88d9529206b8dfa24e1ec7a32,比流氓更具有恶意MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKu9zrmi,比流产更能让人心力憔悴ccc8b322ee117834a1aa820fac204620d078c85eMDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ6xtcei

IzViYTcwMjMxNzNkNjY=

NWJhNzAyMzE3M2Q2Zg==

QDViYTcwMjMxNzNkNzk=

8af927bcb4381904e4149d5176bc7e0dd7ed3719

 e3f753e0b2550a6052bb800a27b9e69e

要知道MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKywpcui,女性友谊的最大特点是亲密、共享MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6Qgs6E3KTdgbB3ZLJ3gKuwsqGi,而想要关系变得亲密f4102f8aa47497d8a6f6f210bea026e6,就是因为彼此能够共享NWJhNzAyMzE3NDVlZA==。想想看XjViYTcwMjMxNzQyMmM=,你和她能够成为朋友21e9226738643ac4f678feabdc639bf1380b788a,是不是因为今天我给你个李子MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKyw27mi,明天你给我个苹果MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKywk7Wi,慢慢地就熟悉起来了874563151d512a8dc50e382fb55a1a6cd0e7bad5fe0ce2dcdcaaa3ae798e44b3a82223ef

XjViYTcwMjMxNzNkOTk=

聊天也是共享的一种——信息共享84fa9d0ecc94b364a819c2e91275c51546809973。通过聊天ITViYTcwMjMxNzQyNGM=,女生能知道彼此的很多事d3e72f703c4aa5e7d767c8f41430907e,其中MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKyxtbmi,也包括一些难以启齿的私事MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6Qgs6E3KTdgbB3ZLJ3kKqwsqGiQDViYTcwMjMxNzNkYTE=

NWJhNzAyMzE3M2RhOQ==

当共享的信息越来越多ee4a69e6d6ea8cfebe8631625527572d,女生之间的信任感和亲密感会持续上升KjViYTcwMjMxNzQyNmY=,所以往往你的小秘密85b087c756def9c47f391aeeb80bd7982e8fd833,都只会告诉给最亲密的人JDViYTcwMjMxNzQ2MTA=XjViYTcwMjMxNzNkYjI=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ68y7Gi

QDViYTcwMjMxNzNkYzU=

5d82922291bdd05fe7e3c9f9bc006390a413dc77

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ68k7mi

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ69pb2i

b662cb8856fd5e6ddb1723bf0a3496e93da4a714

而这时9c68b2dd8fbac6ee84143885209dd722,如果一方知晓另一方只是当面一套背面一套JjViYTcwMjMxNzQyOGM=,背地里把共享的信息泄露出去47c77d3fcaaae262220118871f55db16ddcf7a8d,甚至添油加醋MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKyytbmi,在背后说自己的坏话33405e0c0637bf7e37611af6d9bc20e1,两个人的友谊就会遭受毁灭性的打击2408471018a94eac2674d01143a5f0dcfd46f37f,而关系越密切KjViYTcwMjMxNzQyYmE=,这种打击带来的痛苦就越加倍JDViYTcwMjMxNzQ2MTg=NWJhNzAyMzE3M2RlZQ==

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ69uL2i

02681806aa0672da4ca45381d6df62d4f7

MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ-wpa2i

那么IzViYTcwMjMxNzQyYzI=,为什么总有人会在背后说别人坏话呢?IzViYTcwMjMxNzNlMTE=

JDViYTcwMjMxNzNlMTk=

把“在背后说坏话”讲得专业点MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKy827Gi,是“人际流言”71bde886b106cbca52e96abdb582e87b7268cef5,说得通俗些53ee9ba7e51473f8cc32d449ed9cc0ba7da56206,其实是“讲八卦”80671dd53b2f528a8bd811d1962a656e7adbfa1a,而这1b4476804d5adacd0c1c51664e8b6c43,是一种具有攻击特性的言语手段MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGWwtc-iQDViYTcwMjMxNzNlMjE=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ-wy62i

我们都知道MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKy9y6Wi,人类有攻击本能MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiKy9y8ui,作为人类主体之一的女性4c654bd51bda4bf881503693a305c132,自然也有这样的本能3ea91a2aba5e7def14e58308bd382ed31d4bfe68。可是6b34be4edbe0717d8cff450d5b9f20c3,社会文化对女性角色的期待通常是:温和、无害、善良......为了不违背社会期待MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiK2wtami,一部分女性为了保持自己的形象JDViYTcwMjMxNzQzMjI=,会采用隐匿的方式来表达自己的攻击性851093da614aa30e158f029f21f44d1f,比如a4f044675258471aff784efcf92968eb,在背后诋毁自己想要攻击的对象MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6Qgs6E3KTdgbB3ZLJ3hK2xsqGi,传播攻击对象的不实流言7bc75891cfddfe56b94d870d3ed5818fd3e3d66a68fc43d5d8808599591c114874711696

ITViYTcwMjMxNzNlM2E=

NWJhNzAyMzE3M2U0Mw==

8711d9e0d7d5f2016a1cfe2ceb0cd770

9c277f56dd2576a01b92c3bfc8a75bac145de18b

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ-xtbmi

 ac39ac7e8fdab878839eca5991a0cb3f37978f9c

这么说2f014883505c863281b2f3eecccffa79,一个人在背后说另一个人坏话ITViYTcwMjMxNzQzNTA=,其实是为了发泄自己的攻击本能?但为什么非要把矛头指向好友呢?eb5a7738f8f34f3b96dd9f1dec560bffb95ff5e9

 JjViYTcwMjMxNzNlNzk=

大家可以一起换位思考:什么时候88414ac924eb42f950c2a97565a95175,你会忍不住攻击一个人?f752f5d94a0839a21c3ce68027fc0564ca46b400

e9c4290e8be71726dbd5295b006790bf

答案太多了:ea4be6b134e7ac89e249d34eb4dbe76b

2e093d0bd370ffc9ecb5ef1cc54681be6971778f

3fb4f3ef443c4b2cdc5eef5d0190461fb2fa349b

那个人抢了原本属于我的东西;那个人伤害了我;那个人威胁到了我的自身利益;......MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ-8tcui

  c2e6ad646601c72d2609f35122579fce

如果你以上这些行为都没有做的话JjViYTcwMjMxNzQzNjU=,那么很抱歉2a007ac99f0a6b9b5282b814673dd549b8a68ec3,对于传播“人际流言”的人来说5b3c2dcba2c403b2c9797151e0a246f4b9630f4a,可能只有一个原因:MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ-8zq2i

QDViYTcwMjMxNzNlZDM=

e7904cba05da7896fe31ed2e2a70b5d8de8ab57d

我讨厌你5d0a47f2e5f62515130a84ccab68b5a22ac06bdc,特别讨厌你XjViYTcwMjMxNzQzODg=,我从未把你当过真正的朋友ed0b6f8a6cfc61d253a3432c6320cafd。但是JDViYTcwMjMxNzQzOGY=,你对我来说XjViYTcwMjMxNzQzOTY=,还有点利用价值7704153aff42924ddb64e509e60e437aefe77d69MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ-9qLmi

  MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKthZ-9tb2i

af40912e855a805fd049a140d4b7f79aab732967

JTViYTcwMjMxNzNlZmQ=

896626ec9009c7d5814362728986b1c4

4ba732cf841d18e0ef0692ea56e00dcf

或许13a5ee9410e13ea7324b90e80877ab70942914a2,这就是假烟假酒假朋友MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiK28taWi,假情假意假温柔MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6Qgs6E3KTdgbB3ZLJ3kGOxoqGiJTViYTcwMjMxNzNmMTY=

e0d756c1d09764854552492e3924aaa743ed48f6

03ITViYTcwMjMxNzNmMzM=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthaCw27mi

虽然人际流言很恶心83f0c59f1116e71596eb2ec77097fa78e3f3bae8,但是很遗憾QDViYTcwMjMxNzQzYjc=,它不可能消失JjViYTcwMjMxNzQ2NTM=。所以bba6aad61b201bad70f162fbba506e90,我们改变不了这一现象66a05607aa97767b77db3e8df24019fe20671cd3,就只能做点什么来应对它63a15fd670f1260708a1805fbf085a47408eba671d75a57d062d4f3f6e402bd28927c44a

 65ce86e5f85ce54ab6c48e21070c9441f12b6f50

倘若你是流言中的旁观者MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiK2828ei,不妨换个思路看待“人际流言”MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiK29pami,把那些人说的话当作了解群体规则的途径:MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthaCxqLWi

fa2ecdf39a6cd1059e191ab62b2a463b

当你的朋友聚在一起说谁的不是时MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiK29pc-i,其实就是为你免费提供了一个了解内部群体的机会fcbb5fd064bbcf84dd59e9f189434c6a,比如:谁最讨人厌MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiK29uLGi,哪里讨人厌;谁最受欢迎c86bff0d090ef4afa30b3c3ad8059d8cd03feacb,哪里最受欢迎;谁最可靠JDViYTcwMjMxNzQ0MDk=,谁最有能力......MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthaCxuLWi

5b1c45b81f7cb833379fd9f4326b7c9068edc916

掌握了这些信息之后KjViYTcwMjMxNzQ0MTI=,你至少知道了最基本的群体规则MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGOwtbGi,如果你足够机灵MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGOwuK2i,你应该能从中找到适合自己的位置8939ff752513df29729cbf97471b4a0e,以避免自己成为下一个被讨厌的人938854801d49cb4527b8bdab52d7e79625de6702。当然284986f8d6b0b7b88bd6385bf288e66c6d4d826d,你也可以选择不遵守规则b3e6bcfb39ea4188f8ed95808e04758f,远离该群体ITViYTcwMjMxNzQ0NDM=,坚持做自己928df23bb1faa732ac3e7b66c86c909390e32f01e6810a400a60e7db96b3eb3c965829fd8136500f

a64bd5103e1ef12e762d497b8c4f3279

JjViYTcwMjMxNzNmODU=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthaCypb2i

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthaCyqLWi

e1d791423f045bb6f5634d3414314e503eb6016e

 6c64d0b989688a682d5095f925993a23

倘若十分不幸XjViYTcwMjMxNzQ0NGE=,你是“人际流言”的受害者KjViYTcwMjMxNzQ0NTI=,你也没必要因为朋友可能会在背后说你坏话0d0c55dcdf88be1eb1fb07a6e6919047,就对友谊失去信心f5203dc5ac077ae1de9db8c0a5d25b84,给你的内心上了一把枷锁16edeeeeac116e5aa82715c907af219e5dd412ca53b56bf4c9b75bcc1452b018d51d16fbf4c8e047

 MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKthaC8uLmi

想想吧ffe3e5c04b10a7f9ba820ea15c688a32ec807dda,明明遭受恶意中伤的是你JTViYTcwMjMxNzQ0NzI=,但抚慰、痊愈也只能靠你自己来完成f05e9b13e5f828b8dbfb34d91b2d3d85,而那些中伤你的人MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGOxk62i,却不需要付任何责任MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGWx272i3922fd1140be9e7b719639b45d281102

 NWJhNzAyMzE3M2ZjOQ==

真正的朋友不会让你难过c1defd5fdcd9c8b87e72741623304cc0,不够朋友的人根本不值得你为他哭泣ITViYTcwMjMxNzQ2ODU=efe3363a5b30398de66ce2219722439dc951ce8d

 QDViYTcwMjMxNzNmZGI=

总有一天8746f8a16112c1cc386f4b694b928fd9b47ef8c6,你会拥有足够稳定的人际关系MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6Qgs6E3KTdgbB3ZLJ3iGixoqGi,比如一群可爱的家人bd7fa6d87e5e7bc358917cdd3f55e8aa8fb36be1,1-2个可靠的密友ac1e00f1d1a4b2bf9eeb68314d6e9e4f39f330a6,这些人完全可以满足你爱与归属的需要cb69fb15096d6d730ceeec63c4aec169ce0c4675。到那时MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGO8uLmi,你就不会总是试图与别人建立关系KjViYTcwMjMxNzQ0YmU=,而那些关心传来传去的人际流言MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGO8zr2i,也不会再受它们影响db67e356a6b000ded1037a93ab29719bMDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKthaC9qLGi

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而你更不要因为受到“人际流言”的伤害bffa827c62ed541ac03039705b1eb9cb,就舍弃掉自己的真诚MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGO9pa2i,与他们同流合污MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGW8taWi3792f2fff3c3083e821699aaeb651cfb

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虽然会有人主动破坏友谊MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGO9qKmi,在朋友背后说三道四e2d1d20e732d850576ee1a703e544607e2649fd6,但大多数人还是喜欢高质量的友谊JjViYTcwMjMxNzQ0ZjE=,而且认为信任、承诺、忠诚是高质量友谊的关键因素JDViYTcwMjMxNzQ2YWY=。只不过b2c95d6c1d79cdffa93f9779d152912e1212b230,人们可能需要花点时间反复检验这些品质ef5847ddd20f0fce7376529a7b6f1756cb25d96cb849359beabd3fc7c9dcc91e8b9799d4

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如果你的确是一个真诚可靠的人JjViYTcwMjMxNzQ1MDM=,时间会让真正重视真诚的人看到你JTViYTcwMjMxNzQ2YzA=。假如你因为害怕遭到背叛MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGSwpbWi,而刻意掩盖或改变自己的真诚ff30bbb492177335a1434259f3122515,就是抹杀了自己的闪光点MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6Qgs6E3KTdgbB3ZLJ3kZ2w2KGiKjViYTcwMjMxNzQwNDA=

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被好朋友诋毁中伤是痛苦的7a653512ceb755f8a571e1a722794f10,学姐希望小可爱们永远都不要经历b5381ab25b2e3002acb2f8382fe49247862109b5。同时ae5d67b1ddb3512cf736fceea9335de0,学姐也祝福你们JDViYTcwMjMxNzQ1MmQ=,希望在以后的日子里MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-PtsbbgaB_qbKtiGSwzrmi,每一个人都能在不算温暖的世界里ITViYTcwMjMxNzQ1M2M=,收获足够温暖的情谊ITViYTcwMjMxNzQ2ZGI=badaf584371217c1c3ebc8d413d88bf6d601dc4d

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以前的好朋友现在还是你的好朋友吗?你们之间发生过怎样的事?快来下方留言区和学姐分享一下你的故事吧~XjViYTcwMjMxNzQwOTQ=

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