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好朋友在背后说我坏话,被我知道后……

92d38d64a911ab6fbbe9e28aa3a70802

01NWM2ZDk3YzY5ODZlNg==

6e1a7d37cbc494037c8987a54a5edd08

前几天13bc452ac34569244f0210873214dc69,学姐在上班路上遇到了断交3年的“朋友”36f2a6c30da4919421b03b73cac3f569549aa7ae,见到她的那一刻JjVjNmQ5N2M2OThiMDc=,学姐的心情就像过山车一样起伏不定8a005802bf6044569eb5c957e96be9c8MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmW9y8-i

MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmawpbGi

这位“好朋友”283dc29ecfb49e1c18eb7b89b685f38c,暂时叫她TT吧MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQps6XjbCLZrN6kGWysqGi0edda9b97d84acd5b91a78fbf5a71c96

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmawtcei

TT和学姐是大学同学12023b3f458a0125c2f6b222f5e86b3ea1851870,毕业后进了同一家公司f4ec3f577a4c4bc23472911c290e8595,之后一起合租过一年房子MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn6Cx26mi。那个时候c0b2202675c1d53f15a390752d6e55b5859661fd,死党、家人都不在身边KjVjNmQ5N2M2OThiMzY=,TT是学姐唯一愿意掏心掏肺的人7a1f3f22ee724cb279f29eb1bc315cedcd266772。当时73d779722e4955023d3739bad2aaab28,我以为我们可以当一辈子朋友62704af3e83a745781a4f2717aa34096,却没想过XjVjNmQ5N2M2OThiNGQ=,TT会对我做出那样的事......4e069d9517400277aa1960c2cde28e9e

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmawzrGi

668d772b3f5d530fb0c141989e036d6ebe176f92

1834ed403bbe8b955a7257847dc1f5e307f97f6a

 MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmaxpbGi

b4233416af242cb363ad4ac1506ca4d7a281c052

那是工作后的第一年7ab29f47660e5a394992c09bf3da3f56。上级向学姐透露升职的事NWM2ZDk3YzY5OGI1Nw==,可后来不知为什么f0914524b1da6f355a64d43e83aecd3187f8a2f0,升上去的却是其他人JDVjNmQ5N2M2OThmOTE=MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmaxtbmi

6de30c33798638a9a5b7681c967896a3

一段时间后67570a09ca962601a8ae6665d67d8e6ce4cc4199,有同事悄悄告诉学姐MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQps6XjbCLZrN6gGW9oqGi,TT其实一直在背后说学姐偷懒KjVjNmQ5N2M2OThiN2Q=,不好好工作591935784b5bf2cefb4e4f8afe36d1de299f6949,还不愿意加班之类2c01c7b0438b6f1209f7dbf0bc7dbbd0。这些流言很快传进领导耳朵里e886995fcbe01c629b9f3210fb7950dd,领导觉得学姐不可靠06f217920143cab36483c71353edc7eb,就换了人JTVjNmQ5N2M2OThmYTA=。可实际上9da05eadde39eaaee14fcd2337a7547e,学姐当时私下对TT说的是NWM2ZDk3YzY5OGJhNg==,上班期间要努力提高工作效率XjVjNmQ5N2M2OThiYjI=,尽量准时下班!b7498ea1f403584b712253f49b84dde4

9b86bbaded98800f22d9454b7d6505f5eb95337f

学姐去找TT求证29aecc95b9ad9a5393b825c1da59f19854c83bc7,结果正好撞上她在同事面前贬低学姐7a51ee06673635a2a7c5a5a7888c340b。学姐没忍住KjVjNmQ5N2M2OThiYzI=,跟TT撕了一场MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn6C8uKmi。撕完之后MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn5y827Gi,学姐没觉得畅快fcf52dbc1dc529dff242909d2917c7fd,反而哭了很久796ff98d72b8cb6ebd4d67fc423f03c2。后来18adbabf23f1203ea3607e34896ac37a,学姐搬了家a7601f723f075ddc8a87e701dde0e81f,跟TT彻底断了联系afe0d4c23b6baec1fd73d2c26368f5226e12b9519ac0609b8b1d24377ff3d818175b5708

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmaypa2i

之后13b0076e644e9b7dbba23bed97f3ac44,学姐和别人相处的时候eed97fad4144a42cfea3c261fd1fcb0dc72f3fd0,会经常想起TT做过的事8be9fbfea2bfa9fa352d2275c192e14a3a94bdb4,这让学姐很害怕JjVjNmQ5N2M2OThiZmM=,总忍不住担心对方会耍花招MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn6C826mi。因此183930206eab8ddd724679c4ca9f2e37,在很长一段时间里8c90b2ad37a2a4fe2d1dec912a45fd6465717a6f,学姐都刻意与人保持距离c586baf09dd45be578575c32b1cbd1120629e6d14adb09b09ce11243d0e77be9b5c2859235226ae5

1aa273831a21fb000a71806dead71981

如今三年过去了MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn52wqK2i,学姐以为自己早已释怀7738c95eda0170833c6ffd4cc20c34948492e5cf,可再次见到TTMDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn52wuLWi,不安的感觉又浮了上来bea2a81c42a74dfb49f037a43631f85fJTVjNmQ5N2M2OTg3YTM=

 56b890355d85ecdf8b2ff8990909f8774d91c569

好友散播的流言e3c3e3a6b91505aa872d752d5e2d22da,无异于一次心理重创17e90571378baea7d3c3415c2706898652fa5f57ba0af9cc6ebc09e9945326a66f3e11349041489c

b818d38f86d235bdd13331e228f9eaff

这绝不是学姐矫情JjVjNmQ5N2M2OThmZTM=。流言这东西MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQps6XjbCLZrN6hKy9sqGi,比流感蔓延的速度更快JTVjNmQ5N2M2OThjM2I=,比流星所蕴含的能量更巨大0487e2b35d38a97fab25bd1838389d37e9d74e83,比流氓更具有恶意JTVjNmQ5N2M2OThjNGI=,比流产更能让人心力憔悴7386bc49f0a1a3ed9fde10e20f2f8e4f18a493a147415412301387e73d8a13ab2951ec76

fbe917396de0fbd91298451129b215dc6920bf90

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QDVjNmQ5N2M2OTg3ZGI=

c46c765eb383292b7181ed4fa0615135

 IzVjNmQ5N2M2OTg3ZWM=

要知道MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn52xqLGi,女性友谊的最大特点是亲密、共享7e9803b0fffce07c3f2d4f7ac34708f487e907d2,而想要关系变得亲密4c24cd20cbcc785d64fdc29cf3302a3ed50020a9,就是因为彼此能够共享MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn6C9uL2i。想想看XjVjNmQ5N2M2OThjNmI=,你和她能够成为朋友MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn52xzrGi,是不是因为今天我给你个李子2c49a7c030d153cfa04046701f9ed249718bbc6a,明天你给我个苹果356a69c27061e847e22f1ac0489f2232cfecc5fd,慢慢地就熟悉起来了1b5b6da7a56c116cd7cce68b6f88a18263b94ac5e3fed32584529cc0664191c61b44b642a50d0f63

2ab9186a6fbd3c127b778f08d8896bc9eaea58a3

聊天也是共享的一种——信息共享MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHoqqwpaWi。通过聊天MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn52ypami,女生能知道彼此的很多事88ed20eccd3bf776e25d42b170f14692,其中ff7171428adc16e70f463e18d0f5a565,也包括一些难以启齿的私事JTVjNmQ5N2M2OTkwMGU=d0a3bd5847ac1d963e3de0e4e15f4ac41058d073

e1234ce473e9a42bcb2e6848ae1a6ec3

当共享的信息越来越多MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn52yuLGi,女生之间的信任感和亲密感会持续上升MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQps6XjbCLZrN6hZu9sqGi,所以往往你的小秘密MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn528y8ei,都只会告诉给最亲密的人MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHoqqwqL2iMDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmewqKmi

0500f783c10dca878c1d2da715dd3372

MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmewtcui

MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQps6XjbCLZrN3nqywsqGi

cf9223d548aa4e92302113dc402c8b81b7b5da22

b7165728477e777756d73ffd841f3f30

e4db2209e2ffe3a1844fba586b5c80f8

而这时JDVjNmQ5N2M2OThjYzk=,如果一方知晓另一方只是当面一套背面一套920b87510f2117ebec93f5bf6a465164,背地里把共享的信息泄露出去754ce7cd0386e8f50512f9646a343e01,甚至添油加醋NWM2ZDk3YzY5OGNlNA==,在背后说自己的坏话ce48f38c0bd5d2889826350ca37f9440799e7cb6,两个人的友谊就会遭受毁灭性的打击MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn529uLWi,而关系越密切QDVjNmQ5N2M2OThjZmM=,这种打击带来的痛苦就越加倍MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHoqqwtb2i5f1736925371aeee56a5636511374f2b64b872de

92b9858bc1d9e67d230e24543988984b

02MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmexta2i

da16ff57ce07b6a1aa19ba5e06fc74ecbae61b12

那么d2734dd973bbb72bc9fc1c4930e269e27c5b0695,为什么总有人会在背后说别人坏话呢?JjVjNmQ5N2M2OTg4NmQ=

KjVjNmQ5N2M2OTg4Nzg=

把“在背后说坏话”讲得专业点4995ab01c1c94ae2287b360d52d3ceb0022d2964,是“人际流言”4b2ede46f39b3edb5b7afbcbfca30ac1a2f1f5ac,说得通俗些MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn56wtb2i,其实是“讲八卦”JDVjNmQ5N2M2OThkMjU=,而这451a57da7df4caa14f7136e2f016a7fd54ca9420,是一种具有攻击特性的言语手段ITVjNmQ5N2M2OTkwMjY=XjVjNmQ5N2M2OTg4ODA=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmeypami

我们都知道ITVjNmQ5N2M2OThkMzU=,人类有攻击本能d43dfd609d0a43180849e5a5bafc999d1222e5f9,作为人类主体之一的女性9007a3f830eca9ae81a88110eccf9f895499cbc6,自然也有这样的本能a8a71ba8a41f82b65917cb6e97956ecc。可是b90b6066d2a691797062506f15da2bfd,社会文化对女性角色的期待通常是:温和、无害、善良......为了不违背社会期待MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn56xqLWi,一部分女性为了保持自己的形象fe6a3a9a84b02d486968da784dae943a14c6d793,会采用隐匿的方式来表达自己的攻击性e89b2dc3449a7dad57963f7486a274cd,比如NWM2ZDk3YzY5OGQ2Yg==,在背后诋毁自己想要攻击的对象QDVjNmQ5N2M2OThkNzY=,传播攻击对象的不实流言MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHoqqw26Wifbfc86a8a6dcdf2b1a3045bb910e8441

QDVjNmQ5N2M2OTg4OTg=

80c9e704c99c07f944dfa38ed2eaaa385d6b5768

8c86a1cf5f4eb99badee04a9858680468f7d6e9e

XjVjNmQ5N2M2OTg4YjE=

ITVjNmQ5N2M2OTg4YzQ=

 19dc8549216d66c96c7262f1cebac306fe22a1fa

这么说7c54ee313473aaae1725d131eee9288e53f4c1a4,一个人在背后说另一个人坏话e28bd71077f328cd24f35cee53a3784f,其实是为了发泄自己的攻击本能?但为什么非要把矛头指向好友呢?MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQps6XjbCLZrN3n529yKGi

 fff5a19f60579f8ee39e0836d86adf33

大家可以一起换位思考:什么时候IzVjNmQ5N2M2OThkOTA=,你会忍不住攻击一个人?8364e3c78e9e87c7e6e0a43b4780221d

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnme9uK2i

答案太多了:b2a92232cb3aaf7d932d705962a1bc2d

MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnme9zrGi

64d20f17e56aa591eb410de05b921f2d

那个人抢了原本属于我的东西;那个人伤害了我;那个人威胁到了我的自身利益;......84efef1052701608875ed17fa8585f26

  230a39d2dfaf49d75a23d018481ff94d

如果你以上这些行为都没有做的话0cd169492c7185461bf908df4a8b0834,那么很抱歉JDVjNmQ5N2M2OThkOWY=,对于传播“人际流言”的人来说XjVjNmQ5N2M2OThkYTY=,可能只有一个原因:91c1395b5bf869c6746267cb57b43f2bafb1761d

8e8d3d04b0a1118c4f902c6b0a0210a48ff61d79

15f197bd54031c910db3942da9ba7d88

我讨厌你ITVjNmQ5N2M2OThkYWQ=,特别讨厌你66f1127cfb0edb5a7c42922d0a565a3fbfe19c9d,我从未把你当过真正的朋友bbc487305b15804b91a66a0008a06d9a。但是MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn568y8ei,你对我来说f9e12c9e1b74da53ffba9890e39506d06b1ea03c,还有点利用价值73af787c395d887692dda9b7fa016cb3ITVjNmQ5N2M2OTg5NDE=

  MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmixpa2i

XjVjNmQ5N2M2OTg5NTE=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmixta2i

MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQps6XjbCLZrN3omS82KGi

d86162b66a50ca3fbddd22d41d7e35174a7b8a99

或许372b5f4c27c1731b9e38f1c547b2ae7915c7bc3c,这就是假烟假酒假朋友MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn569paWi,假情假意假温柔NWM2ZDk3YzY5OTA0Zg==08b16c06b966d306c204b062e11652806612881d

ITVjNmQ5N2M2OTg5ODA=

03879344b1efcb395b148eda192a0f731c

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmiypc-i

虽然人际流言很恶心QDVjNmQ5N2M2OThkZGQ=,但是很遗憾a9b7600848298e3e41a7ad8b87df4059,它不可能消失MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQps6XjbCLZrOHeGSw2KGi。所以MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn569tcui,我们改变不了这一现象MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn569y6mi,就只能做点什么来应对它8862c57ef2016b3a18952b9026d2352f8157f51e1e5d25a818a72280f531dca799d02812

 MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmiytc-i

倘若你是流言中的旁观者MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQps6XjbCLZrN6iaC8yKGi,不妨换个思路看待“人际流言”JTVjNmQ5N2M2OThlMDk=,把那些人说的话当作了解群体规则的途径:MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmi8taWi

446c41985e750931b57446352b0517f3e5869676

当你的朋友聚在一起说谁的不是时03476ac2afaba196d0c3d333d6109ae3,其实就是为你免费提供了一个了解内部群体的机会410d193e9b918cdba79465e4f77ab9872802770c,比如:谁最讨人厌ITVjNmQ5N2M2OThlMjY=,哪里讨人厌;谁最受欢迎MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQps6XjbCLZrN6jKyysqGi,哪里最受欢迎;谁最可靠2065338ab14624447ff1860d2e9dafed,谁最有能力......b1fa8575814849251766ad6ef285225e608e617f

94adba5e23fef9ba2b433f3962d69de3047b0cd3

掌握了这些信息之后JDVjNmQ5N2M2OThlM2Q=,你至少知道了最基本的群体规则IzVjNmQ5N2M2OThlNDY=,如果你足够机灵NWM2ZDk3YzY5OGU0ZQ==,你应该能从中找到适合自己的位置082440dcba00659d02a99439b2b459ec,以避免自己成为下一个被讨厌的人MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHoqqxy6mi。当然IzVjNmQ5N2M2OThlNjA=,你也可以选择不遵守规则38f28a7024a979c9ad2a379aedf959ba,远离该群体6bf265d7237adb6bec91b26c5d69354d7d8c2705,坚持做自己d0e935346a60dda7bcdd9850fcaf61e3cb87d82fKjVjNmQ5N2M2OTg5Y2I=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmi8k7Gi

ITVjNmQ5N2M2OTg5ZGM=

7ff9d73e44a3bcbd6f72652f5dae89ae

ec17a35821994f807ea6cd143e3c18a85b7f54c7

XjVjNmQ5N2M2OTg5Zjc=

 MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHnmi9y8ui

倘若十分不幸b8b1828f23c1b7040a82c34907effbd8,你是“人际流言”的受害者b42cfa9d3f46b1d170f4f56b2367690b0eac2bd0,你也没必要因为朋友可能会在背后说你坏话8a562e27f68a21ab2c1c9f937baa47b9,就对友谊失去信心aa575e6e8a5a7fc7208dfa9ec17f36a5d653eeba,给你的内心上了一把枷锁MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHoqqx26WiJjVjNmQ5N2M2OThhMDY=

 XjVjNmQ5N2M2OThhMTE=

想想吧5a9272fd605d66be6f709b52e7bce239,明明遭受恶意中伤的是你ce26d5e153cf762290c5cb85e8584ec3,但抚慰、痊愈也只能靠你自己来完成ab9db93629dcd1f5ac1c0219644b58fb9401d49b,而那些中伤你的人XjVjNmQ5N2M2OThlYWU=,却不需要付任何责任JjVjNmQ5N2M2OTkwODE=50a299c382d124279b052eac941f7675

 MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn5uwuKmi

真正的朋友不会让你难过MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn5-8uL2i,不够朋友的人根本不值得你为他哭泣MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHoqqypa2iJjVjNmQ5N2M2OThhMmI=

 MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SZgmh_Y7OHn5uwzrGi

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