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好朋友在背后说我坏话,被我知道后……

d20cc90331822f9530949fcdaa50b216

01MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKXNgnqZZb1lfGiysqGi

d09d7943efdb4ed0f82f3d018e2ffb3a

前几天3d670c196ec88eb3b47addb54759a6d39ff72450,学姐在上班路上遇到了断交3年的“朋友”XjViNGYwYjQ4OTUxYTc=,见到她的那一刻ITViNGYwYjQ4OTUyYjI=,学姐的心情就像过山车一样起伏不定fd3bfa4e0bcb663a0e2543467dbf76c7JTViNGYwYjQ4OGNkYzU=

JTViNGYwYjQ4OGNlZTM=

这位“好朋友”b9f53d05e7c9de07cafb81550d34469663c81c02,暂时叫她TT吧874963554d9d361403a72ac069d414df5256d9432f1173fe7886956bd515d794

20d341721b1fd119c6ef3d1b7ff0bc5c

TT和学姐是大学同学JTViNGYwYjQ4OTU0ZDc=,毕业后进了同一家公司7391650a0c10e3057ec4cf53e5fb34c2,之后一起合租过一年房子065ef97c2f2894d24d91f3ff7e285c77。那个时候MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHjGWwzrWi,死党、家人都不在身边f333e7ed07079c3d8030c3f6c54d228f,TT是学姐唯一愿意掏心掏肺的人2ad938e95368680782ccf41ea401db62d88c3638。当时998d8044a3cb81c446d6abfb89306fd98462c924,我以为我们可以当一辈子朋友cce01b9c722facbe6aba583987b8033aab67fb26,却没想过740d0895ab430746307f2e7558116fa205a8a60a,TT会对我做出那样的事......478c4cd6da48771d11c110fdb458e43dab588413

ITViNGYwYjQ4OGQzNmY=

fdb8fff877364647de321269529d6572c06698db

JTViNGYwYjQ4OGQ1YmQ=

 MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-EqbzbjaCDZbN6iGS9zr2i

b172d4e8927095f72e8e6aa618399884e9fe3aa0

那是工作后的第一年c895a079e042bee62a6de8e3603cd89e579376ee。上级向学姐透露升职的事MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOHjZyypcui,可后来不知为什么MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHjZ2ytcei,升上去的却是其他人ITViNGYwYjQ4OWVjZDE=NWI0ZjBiNDg4ZDkwMg==

32bd3d23c2ab72173f0878f2814061f6fd607b54

一段时间后1ab47afb7f95bea71734c4b1189e2eaf476bb1f0,有同事悄悄告诉学姐6fddeb4a387ce1f63076b922fa215521,TT其实一直在背后说学姐偷懒d2cf18bb2ee64b548bd38c23164005f1,不好好工作MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOHkKq9qKmi,还不愿意加班之类JDViNGYwYjQ4OWVkZTA=。这些流言很快传进领导耳朵里94ed9b7b38fbf7c1807c2a856f64bdceabf55479,领导觉得学姐不可靠584e00afdb76bd098c4fe8cf13e356f4,就换了人MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOKjZ-wy62i。可实际上QDViNGYwYjQ4OTY1MGE=,学姐当时私下对TT说的是MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHkGSxtami,上班期间要努力提高工作效率424c6fa9e70253724cc07882f6ce9faf,尽量准时下班!41e551292f4e63dfca5f75c94d4221cb

b8613926251d577babd01dbe6d6acb5adf47e0ab

学姐去找TT求证380a68274ce8635be73dacaec00100dc,结果正好撞上她在同事面前贬低学姐MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOKjaCw27Gi。学姐没忍住ebb94df43c1cce88df026e94af4d0e7c7f8d059d,跟TT撕了一场QDViNGYwYjQ4OWYxMTA=。撕完之后7d208106324eee0f2735bee4d4688735c3ec733c,学姐没觉得畅快136c6155e7f5fa06545446f8c197a132,反而哭了很久bebd33f4c4b24bfdb2226d36d42d0b539b8394f6。后来92bf72f106c531a45d52c362b4557433abdc1f65,学姐搬了家bba16f0641cf5a469a7f32f76d665677ffe200e4,跟TT彻底断了联系MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOKkKyxzrGiMDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-EqbzbjaCDZbN6iZ2ypami

IzViNGYwYjQ4OGRlNzQ=

之后48db398e4b04f91ebf4ac34ae603cfa9f681d9aa,学姐和别人相处的时候f98df5edffbe90888fd0c5330ee9d3af,会经常想起TT做过的事07bc890b1b1a134a30948a259c951a34396c0714,这让学姐很害怕ITViNGYwYjQ4OTcyN2Q=,总忍不住担心对方会耍花招MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOKkK2xk72i。因此4969c6ecab014abf6ecf94758ed1472558ec1197,在很长一段时间里MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHmq29tb2i,学姐都刻意与人保持距离QDViNGYwYjQ4OWY1NWM=fd1adfec2dc4265d835c7e25c42f4cb7

95e67a86d73b0e3f6c129f47621c7c78702a22f0

如今三年过去了XjViNGYwYjQ4OTc1ZDg=,学姐以为自己早已释怀JjViNGYwYjQ4OTc2ZjA=,可再次见到TTf25a42a11da7cc82f5505422f093c8e6779527ae,不安的感觉又浮了上来1bf9ed47c82ca7b2ed2e61284848d0f2MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZbN6jKq9uLmi

 JDViNGYwYjQ4OGUyZDU=

好友散播的流言45b26bfe278f15ef8ec1a8a315030556e763fc55,无异于一次心理重创ITViNGYwYjQ4OWY3N2I=IzViNGYwYjQ4OGUzZWE=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZbN6jGOwzrGi

这绝不是学姐矫情b53b30ea298938c4085cab209b826daba0cfba04。流言这东西213e8cfb5d882d6c6d3de828440d02ac02ba166b,比流感蔓延的速度更快MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOHm5uypbWi,比流星所蕴含的能量更巨大feadb954980edaf057c382c3ac6e1fcc,比流氓更具有恶意026c6cabc8a8a707ef19db2fe1735b82cb9389b6,比流产更能让人心力憔悴292a14b31d5bab4b396c6d3ce88b1916MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-EqbzbjaCDZbN6jGSxtbmi

1ca526d9b35de1d271789ca6c0a91aea2de4ee2a

95da7b6c896487ec63e0146c2630e4943aa8aa4d

XjViNGYwYjQ4OGU5Njk=

JTViNGYwYjQ4OGVhOGI=

 JDViNGYwYjQ4OGViYjI=

要知道MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOHm568k72i,女性友谊的最大特点是亲密、共享MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHm5-9y7Gi,而想要关系变得亲密MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHnqqwqKmi,就是因为彼此能够共享1de37c56cbeb78975ba4808efa59964b38ec3570。想想看MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHnquwy8ei,你和她能够成为朋友IzViNGYwYjQ4OTgzMjk=,是不是因为今天我给你个李子MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHnq2xzrGi,明天你给我个苹果MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOHnmOyqL2i,慢慢地就熟悉起来了a636c55c15b47f7e19f4c6e56aa719f1IzViNGYwYjQ4OGVjY2M=

d61ef5b4f69c0ea65944aa9ebab4ed2b61600e80

聊天也是共享的一种——信息共享MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKXNgnqZZr6ghKy8yKGi。通过聊天NWI0ZjBiNDg5ODY4Nw==,女生能知道彼此的很多事MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHnmW8k6mi,其中e1e8090539dba9d7eb53581728bc707c9db7e0db,也包括一些难以启齿的私事ed0d9e1bb62df6bace50e8db8be8227a576bf4492f515c852297144f08b0c6db

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-EqbzbjaCDZbN6jaCxpbGi

当共享的信息越来越多MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKXNgnqZZrN3oqqx2KGi,女生之间的信任感和亲密感会持续上升MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOHn5uwy6mi,所以往往你的小秘密IzViNGYwYjQ4OThjMGY=,都只会告诉给最亲密的人JTViNGYwYjQ4OWZmMmM=6a1fff1d582bbcc12a2f984f044c778c

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d900226d4cfd4369d1d4f2510ae2780d

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-EqbzbjaCDZbN6kGS9uKmi

2b7079adef0ebd64945d4358a9343ef2842d4e99

而这时c200b2b1297c585ad7dd990431fb9e5c97a4fbe4,如果一方知晓另一方只是当面一套背面一套MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHn56x27mi,背地里把共享的信息泄露出去MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHn5-yqLWi,甚至添油加醋cecdda1061e8a80978719fa39f94532c,在背后说自己的坏话0692e900682b92e246146f1a4d478ab0618df5ed,两个人的友谊就会遭受毁灭性的打击7bfa20a068fb745acb056a647efc6d9567518881,而关系越密切XjViNGYwYjQ4OTkzOWE=,这种打击带来的痛苦就越加倍JDViNGYwYjQ4YTAwNDc=KjViNGYwYjQ4OGY5MGE=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-EqbzbjaCDZbN6kGixqLmi

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MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKXNgnqZZb6ggGiwyKGi

那么6457e8aa97c9250ece9a9b6af221aacc,为什么总有人会在背后说别人坏话呢?ffe7e91d146b1a522dd5962acaacfd8391216190

QDViNGYwYjQ4OGZlYTM=

把“在背后说坏话”讲得专业点MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHomO9y8ei,是“人际流言”MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOHomWwqLmi,说得通俗些3d9d72bf95f1bf97d56004c70ae2a9abd98e3e13,其实是“讲八卦”31e684a9c1c8a0c95eff5b90d51f2e8f,而这8a2b48c08ccea3dc1f18755226d8bacbf09d4db2,是一种具有攻击特性的言语手段MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-EqbzbjaCDZb2HeKqyqK2iMDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKXNgnqZZb6gjZ-9oqGi

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHeKqwpc-i

我们都知道9e62a896faa84ad6e30594298af717f8,人类有攻击本能MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHo5yypa2i,作为人类主体之一的女性MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHo52yuK2i,自然也有这样的本能ITViNGYwYjQ4YTAyNzI=。可是002aaf94fb951ed8dc7d6fc1890464df,社会文化对女性角色的期待通常是:温和、无害、善良......为了不违背社会期待f4e1f9b0104fc61b240d4ccf46f7756e,一部分女性为了保持自己的形象45edcd84999201aa27a262d69612c5ae,会采用隐匿的方式来表达自己的攻击性KjViNGYwYjQ4OWExZGQ=,比如MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOKfKywy6mi,在背后诋毁自己想要攻击的对象XjViNGYwYjQ4OWE0MTY=,传播攻击对象的不实流言MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZb2HeKy8y7Wief22565907136fcf6a419716df3cfc18

MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKXNgnqZZrF3gGSwyKGi

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHeK2xzr2i

c7d56dd3ca8b5f928d2454a3d436aff2

1a7a933061b855736f4202c8107983c3

cb51bade6669b47bde814a4c5f27bbc0

 XjViNGYwYjQ4OTA4YzQ=

这么说fe569300cd2cdde909663cc6d91a97672898b097,一个人在背后说另一个人坏话MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOKfGSx27Wi,其实是为了发泄自己的攻击本能?但为什么非要把矛头指向好友呢?MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHeGiwpcui

 be3e1cc7d2a6ad8e98be1677facb4d429a7bb712

大家可以一起换位思考:什么时候7fae848004f9b40b441e9bb337837c9c,你会忍不住攻击一个人?091e68276f7e87b56d73ecb8991ec497

eaa28ebfb11b5788e6aa8347b00fd8cff76f8b85

答案太多了:JjViNGYwYjQ4OTBlNGY=

a23335706a99d59d5735bd0237dde90969ea3245

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOHeaC8uL2i

那个人抢了原本属于我的东西;那个人伤害了我;那个人威胁到了我的自身利益;......MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOHfKq828-i

  QDViNGYwYjQ4OTEyYzU=

如果你以上这些行为都没有做的话MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKXNgnqZZr2Hm5yyoqGi,那么很抱歉f02f9c8099cb386406c2f10b3939173ca7b86f4f,对于传播“人际流言”的人来说KjViNGYwYjQ4OWFhYmQ=,可能只有一个原因:JTViNGYwYjQ4OTEzZTk=

df77e8d4878a67062aea120815b5915703efa80a

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHfGSxqL2i

我讨厌你JjViNGYwYjQ4OWFiZTE=,特别讨厌你MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOKfZ2wy7Wi,我从未把你当过真正的朋友85dcb9fc19ab762d41d0fdc029ed745e。但是a17968c79bd8364af404a0f81cce20a4,你对我来说3abb9f8c44118ac31a2ccbdd1dbe93e1,还有点利用价值KjViNGYwYjQ4YTA1Yjg=f9de836640bc4e48ad8fa4670fd4d466

  IzViNGYwYjQ4OTE4NmE=

b8ec40e7c7fd61b9dae10de81471f094e2637807

QDViNGYwYjQ4OTFhYWI=

2cac55b145cd41efcafb06392edefb0c

1e9070e809e89c7242cf56d3351ab444

或许ITViNGYwYjQ4OWIwNTM=,这就是假烟假酒假朋友ITViNGYwYjQ4OWIxNmI=,假情假意假温柔JDViNGYwYjQ4YTA2Y2M=ITViNGYwYjQ4OTFlMDA=

QDViNGYwYjQ4OTFmMWE=

03da84027031b7bb101766d6511c9ef9e4

8a3932e0b33b50ebff82a234207ac545

虽然人际流言很恶心QDViNGYwYjQ4OWIyODU=,但是很遗憾d493502b0a42a39a41873db531b48cff2bac0f34,它不可能消失356944b330765551399ec766f3e8fe74。所以1986704c3dc96377763543c04763aeb5,我们改变不了这一现象0e737fe3b5607fdca4d1b432a0f29e3fd45d624c,就只能做点什么来应对它ec8e4715a1857873c2abc32410955dacMDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHgKuytbWi

 5d571294679f81ce1445e73b9fa392e8

倘若你是流言中的旁观者MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOKgGWwtcei,不妨换个思路看待“人际流言”MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOKgGaw27Gi,把那些人说的话当作了解群体规则的途径:2beda2180fd91243666ed060e5ddf98a

bab85ebe57e72996582d8458927fd47f

当你的朋友聚在一起说谁的不是时67939cefbddf84ccda320120a565b936c01ae366,其实就是为你免费提供了一个了解内部群体的机会cc008e74df66d67e4a3f6290247badc0ec0c051c,比如:谁最讨人厌JTViNGYwYjQ4OWJiNTk=,哪里讨人厌;谁最受欢迎cf15df71eb47471f8f1c4da05ebb004a9af8a00a,哪里最受欢迎;谁最可靠MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOKgZ28y8ei,谁最有能力......c025487806afcb027b6cb9d3516bcbae

04f585fb4de3e49843a1bb04644ec0e2

掌握了这些信息之后JjViNGYwYjQ4OWJlYWI=,你至少知道了最基本的群体规则cbbb1a223a6b2684b659bce13bcb93c4,如果你足够机灵043dd99e37f9bd97a40453d255af44731192bbea,你应该能从中找到适合自己的位置KjViNGYwYjQ4OWMxZjg=,以避免自己成为下一个被讨厌的人MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKXNgnqambF3oq282KGi。当然15cfba6256710f962ef09b5e7c80e869cd80cb29,你也可以选择不遵守规则632e0109e5800ad3afbb90745904bf8d0e1dffbe,远离该群体045cd89709a2b8f639c20ac8da2a5bd00ad928ab,坚持做自己NWI0ZjBiNDhhMGIyZg==JjViNGYwYjQ4OTI5MTc=

NWI0ZjBiNDg5MmEzNQ==

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHgZuxk6mi

5d288f46b7faa9c2b311145b61f82062

36c0991097b83c730d631f8ca36287d6ee2314ba

536fe3f6f54b43148f0789f24bf7f17b

 MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHgZ-9y62i

倘若十分不幸MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOKhGSyuLmi,你是“人际流言”的受害者887a35e5aec2a615ed2d26b49fdb0a12,你也没必要因为朋友可能会在背后说你坏话23edc3fb1ad149b76c50c46b235041992fac63c1,就对友谊失去信心MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOKhGe9y7Wi,给你的内心上了一把枷锁JDViNGYwYjQ4YTBjNGE=6032cea492f625428dbce89e43236478

 6016b99d3643578060e1effd56d6d5f80a6a495b

想想吧2fc97fc0addb965f23704033f669a88b,明明遭受恶意中伤的是你ITViNGYwYjQ4OWNjMGM=,但抚慰、痊愈也只能靠你自己来完成abed3acace985d2be73e84b1d71eb569,而那些中伤你的人MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOKhZ6xzrWi,却不需要付任何责任NWI0ZjBiNDhhMGQ2Nw==MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOHhKyxpc-i

 IzViNGYwYjQ4OTM0M2U=

真正的朋友不会让你难过7b3b09cfb41e2ba2f3faea40ad266c0c48907d2a,不够朋友的人根本不值得你为他哭泣JDViNGYwYjQ4YTBlN2M=QDViNGYwYjQ4OTM1NTc=

 d084ac0201c0165d05ea4f3d7765ce4ea857c1e7

总有一天QDViNGYwYjQ4OWQwODg=,你会拥有足够稳定的人际关系0f5595761fc67710dae69a7d9ca2c22b,比如一群可爱的家人MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjs-EqbzbjaCDZbOKiKu9uK2i,1-2个可靠的密友JTViNGYwYjQ4OWQzZDg=,这些人完全可以满足你爱与归属的需要7ea218aff95bfe56ff2c7ca6ebe4895f6258a563。到那时eb9a3286c01a46af3eb2f4586d788364ddb76485,你就不会总是试图与别人建立关系MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QgZaQzKXNgnqZZr53jGOwoqGi,而那些关心传来传去的人际流言f6c1b5a91c8b6e520d0146672b3f1f2fa6971b1a,也不会再受它们影响daf8681e086ec88cf40da41c6beda2cb906255b7QDViNGYwYjQ4OTM3OGI=

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而你更不要因为受到“人际流言”的伤害QDViNGYwYjQ4OWQ4NDc=,就舍弃掉自己的真诚MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOKiGeyqKmi,与他们同流合污MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjs-EqbzbjaCDZb2HfKq9tceiJjViNGYwYjQ4OTNmNWE=

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虽然会有人主动破坏友谊bba9d9984c72f0be82b83c280af955f4,在朋友背后说三道四JDViNGYwYjQ4OWRiOTk=,但大多数人还是喜欢高质量的友谊17d4a9d4d0c82337095a7973df3934d0,而且认为信任、承诺、忠诚是高质量友谊的关键因素QDViNGYwYjQ4YTEyZDE=。只不过60e8626dc977e56408ac25a3bf39240f,人们可能需要花点时间反复检验这些品质MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjs-EqbzbjaCDZb2HfK2wtbGi9fcc08a709b15819ced87c1470fa1916754ccc7a

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如果你的确是一个真诚可靠的人e24211786bad2c988918342e3c6cccff,时间会让真正重视真诚的人看到你5c4cc073987552fae10e6d68efd4c08f9542169c。假如你因为害怕遭到背叛e3f5d889a1582969b916ffd9682122fd,而刻意掩盖或改变自己的真诚76db66896021a94f17244517d32d1ff5eb08836b,就是抹杀了自己的闪光点c26c296b1e3982fe45a53f3dfdf6a8ba1ad57ad03c44f0d62ef2f6557abcfd8e972cb94535b91b09

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被好朋友诋毁中伤是痛苦的458b4b7a6e1d05af130004d62f548920,学姐希望小可爱们永远都不要经历MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjs-EqbzbjaCDZb2HfGWxuLGi。同时MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9js-EqbzbjaCDZbOKjKyxuLWi,学姐也祝福你们c23a9ae17c44b5c04a88e335f715c05488514779,希望在以后的日子里9097803ac899e603c37eebf8684ecb9e,每一个人都能在不算温暖的世界里ITViNGYwYjQ4OWU2NWY=,收获足够温暖的情谊87873a5915d3c53d16cee20705859dd5fdebcbb6e9abfd0782efc7292693fc11

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以前的好朋友现在还是你的好朋友吗?你们之间发生过怎样的事?快来下方留言区和学姐分享一下你的故事吧~810c03eac05b02b22e38f6b28bf5997b4afc5a08

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