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好朋友在背后说我坏话,被我知道后……

QDVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk2NDg=

012c9b071cbed0d9e87fd72e2b207d2570

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomWxtbmi

前几天1bfb26e7e4dd2dd6f8ee17e044113878ee013934,学姐在上班路上遇到了断交3年的“朋友”JDVjNmQ4NWY4NzlhN2E=,见到她的那一刻MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQpsqVjqCZZLOKfGa9oqGi,学姐的心情就像过山车一样起伏不定279a45fa04a980c374368d69ecc4cd2860ad2134NWM2ZDg1Zjg3OTY3NA==

QDVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk2N2U=

这位“好朋友”MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5uypbmi,暂时叫她TT吧JTVjNmQ4NWY4NzllYmY=MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomWxk72i

38844509a597f8593958bf95e8430ceb528e6d02

TT和学姐是大学同学MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5uyqLmi,毕业后进了同一家公司b23463c9903a53867b1b0028fdf910c4,之后一起合租过一年房子MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5-826Wi。那个时候c37ff41eb7c88f8ae7687ba27bbd8893,死党、家人都不在身边MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5u8tcei,TT是学姐唯一愿意掏心掏肺的人4b4229fd5e0faa5698c07925107fabc7e53d6ea2。当时XjVjNmQ4NWY4NzlhYjU=,我以为我们可以当一辈子朋友MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5u8y72i,却没想过MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQpsqVjqCZZLOKfZy9yKGi,TT会对我做出那样的事......KjVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk2OTg=

30442f239edf27ce211cf79f6c016d98552d8200

JDVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk2YTc=

7026a26d701fef2bf50f299dc50620cb

 1931a316bcdf18970c221f4a1d02b363

bb44e2d5f885da8d965f4e77ca14f8f3

那是工作后的第一年MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5-9pa2i。上级向学姐透露升职的事MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5u828ei,可后来不知为什么a5b7fe2dbeb99193aa628f3d096793e757ebc068,升上去的却是其他人ed3a699f753ce7ef2f07b51ca57bf1e124929e998c3c9e19078e483bd3babcf9

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomW828ui

一段时间后MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5u9qLGi,有同事悄悄告诉学姐d642679bfa4efb81936e1ef25c24108ed6d2d3c1,TT其实一直在背后说学姐偷懒99eacc6bd5a703ff21d5e7433ea37316,不好好工作MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5u9y7Wi,还不愿意加班之类44b213f495b2d7be1ce3c4f4f429ac20。这些流言很快传进领导耳朵里de773266855002e6b2f57bceeda15d9a,领导觉得学姐不可靠IzVjNmQ4NWY4NzliMGE=,就换了人IzVjNmQ4NWY4NzllZjE=。可实际上bc2a53438645d194bc69b7e7a718d17a93c23809,学姐当时私下对TT说的是ITVjNmQ4NWY4NzliMTg=,上班期间要努力提高工作效率11e0917e640c8bebba80e1253e49e364b5553737,尽量准时下班!IzVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk2ZDg=

d276bfbdbe0dcd2cda104ff189c3e2462f937c44

学姐去找TT求证MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5ywy6Wi,结果正好撞上她在同事面前贬低学姐JjVjNmQ4NWY4NzllZmE=。学姐没忍住41c99f4dac13d277dd43bbb2832735ad,跟TT撕了一场MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5-9zq2i。撕完之后JDVjNmQ4NWY4NzliMzg=,学姐没觉得畅快f84663a8c5579a1f6f7bd4c7bea1079ec277d274,反而哭了很久MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto6CwpbGi。后来MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5yxpaWi,学姐搬了家b2262bea9a14d4830b46b626c2cf72a5,跟TT彻底断了联系JTVjNmQ4NWY4NzlmMTA=JjVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk2ZWY=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomW9y6Wi

之后ITVjNmQ4NWY4NzliNTQ=,学姐和别人相处的时候fe35eeb3a9b864540b585f986f0f275236e1c3b9,会经常想起TT做过的事2ce6cedb7f07e2ba60fe8491e02a310df4b4fd98,这让学姐很害怕JjVjNmQ4NWY4NzliNmI=,总忍不住担心对方会耍花招MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto6Cwtami。因此MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5yxzrGi,在很长一段时间里35ed08e0269042e042da11640640cb77,学姐都刻意与人保持距离KjVjNmQ4NWY4NzlmMjE=75339d5de7441bc1f854d179f10d22ee

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomawpaWi

如今三年过去了313bd9cf9e79b26e7a1ddd50da2d2dcab1caa007,学姐以为自己早已释怀KjVjNmQ4NWY4NzliOGM=,可再次见到TTaedda82ad7dfdcb69762a781b93bcecc,不安的感觉又浮了上来KjVjNmQ4NWY4NzlmMjg=MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomawpcei

 f5a9e7d99a65b478e4d63a61a4f100d9

好友散播的流言MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5yytbWi,无异于一次心理重创7d9de227b3cf17631e7785c7425f34ec66410f59a1c67f84128abfa095c8c3b20bd76593023b7e0b

MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomawy62i

这绝不是学姐矫情3c88e2f55693080a51286fbc34f6136b7272f884。流言这东西e23211496b7f606ab2facf6f9fff6e01,比流感蔓延的速度更快79f6e996afb2affbbc54bf941d744d620391773d,比流星所蕴含的能量更巨大102593f268874e6c520316426020761716a732b7,比流氓更具有恶意QDVjNmQ4NWY4NzliYmQ=,比流产更能让人心力憔悴JDVjNmQ4NWY4NzlmNDU=MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomawzq2i

e71a7ad791537e9addc2b738b64138a26de2e96b

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomawk7Gi

XjVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk3NGM=

3093b33158f7adc3f48fba113fdd8b84e2182f6c

 1a4fd99641b39a8ae8b760835b7c249e

要知道IzVjNmQ4NWY4NzliYzc=,女性友谊的最大特点是亲密、共享JTVjNmQ4NWY4NzliY2Y=,而想要关系变得亲密464f6f4f6bc800f342d20aa9b9fb4c53,就是因为彼此能够共享XjVjNmQ4NWY4NzlmNGM=。想想看IzVjNmQ4NWY4NzliZGY=,你和她能够成为朋友6d15b64a1288e2c9fafddc929a59e09a69cad945,是不是因为今天我给你个李子aed6f8265db7aad9fca63065daff887a,明天你给我个苹果1db1f0a9a821318189b2b3c0c9041565,慢慢地就熟悉起来了MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto6CxqLWi5a4a1aaefedaa5abfb5c40a3ca05791cf8044bf4

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomaxy7mi

聊天也是共享的一种——信息共享JTVjNmQ4NWY4NzlmNWI=。通过聊天MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5y9y7mi,女生能知道彼此的很多事8ad2ee7b941c820d35fa5d16b1747e6a,其中XjVjNmQ4NWY4NzljMGI=,也包括一些难以启齿的私事MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQpsqVjqCZZLOKkGS9sqGi36e41c917b6cd0806db9763829f1adcd

a1e42bc067cd24c1eaff421cf312da17

当共享的信息越来越多ccdf1afe61f7951633b8c15189fcd71d,女生之间的信任感和亲密感会持续上升710858cfa0d4bfb2c852ed252b92bdac,所以往往你的小秘密39ca66113cbf31b1c9cc54260cb3134a6747d687,都只会告诉给最亲密的人27f7758247472d63b342c01c5590b6101be11b17c2f8bb50dd3aad96e4e8d549

KjVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk3OGE=

feb2ebcbf0c54c451a86418e98958bf8

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomaytbGi

0f14d6e1ec0c01e0f62c9572be36d064

b25fbb79d96cf878ed2fa7f84ed2a98c370a7a58

9f20d2158b02fe29bae185f9d9957059

而这时2bf7720b2e3025cfd930f0f1c40f8fe4,如果一方知晓另一方只是当面一套背面一套16afa3c1be059ac872bebfbfcb07a6e6f66d3060,背地里把共享的信息泄露出去f2ecaafd27f114cb98a5d05baa8e6b56,甚至添油加醋MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto52xpami,在背后说自己的坏话66dfcb65fb161ec1425e2648aabaea770a789dd8,两个人的友谊就会遭受毁灭性的打击MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto52xqL2i,而关系越密切b9a594a59d2efa20fdaacbbdc8246164,这种打击带来的痛苦就越加倍76a2ec195710ce0f61bba8db3e6618e4NWM2ZDg1Zjg3OTdiYg==

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtoma8zrGi

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647b90cf2669d17501095b4d56df0795

那么e36850dbd42ed264da8b8bba8b602fb7,为什么总有人会在背后说别人坏话呢?MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtoma9pa2i

0cf44a30a16c248ce7921428e9c9f5f1

把“在背后说坏话”讲得专业点MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto52xy72i,是“人际流言”056bb9d5929bf620344985a36faeaabf54b5039b,说得通俗些b7fa22df0e51feb45011dc33f73a17b733a9f521,其实是“讲八卦”IzVjNmQ4NWY4NzljODI=,而这dd2d7ab78333990c9e70eae2786b4d8d5b6dc021,是一种具有攻击特性的言语手段56f676bd508dc14e1bf8d220db5b9fb1e738feceb20d749f23eb0070178e994c

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtoma9tcui

我们都知道MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto52yqKmi,人类有攻击本能IzVjNmQ4NWY4NzljOTc=,作为人类主体之一的女性989b545579b2287d8f5abba6f1debf3eeb4fcfde,自然也有这样的本能QDVjNmQ4NWY4NzlmODc=。可是b0ac299fce9c8a0863fd1a2180dd27e44dbe42b1,社会文化对女性角色的期待通常是:温和、无害、善良......为了不违背社会期待2a1049781d2d383a61ff1df66f1a8817,一部分女性为了保持自己的形象JTVjNmQ4NWY4NzljYjM=,会采用隐匿的方式来表达自己的攻击性XjVjNmQ4NWY4NzljYmE=,比如MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQpsqVjqCZZLOKhZy9oqGi,在背后诋毁自己想要攻击的对象ITVjNmQ4NWY4NzljY2E=,传播攻击对象的不实流言d97a12d350a9759bff58c4c9ec63e1e6f94bab2eKjVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk3ZmU=

5b5feac99cb5ad9e81366089ec9783b1

d21d8bda4c6b9bf679188ae3f30655411dc88350

XjVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk4MjU=

2482e983507bf6f5c1c13c38696d28a7

IzVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk4MzQ=

 MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQpsqVjqCZZLOHnq2x2KGi

这么说ece77b6d8f5d1658408a47c4c90c82a9,一个人在背后说另一个人坏话MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto529pa2i,其实是为了发泄自己的攻击本能?但为什么非要把矛头指向好友呢?MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomewk72i

 7b52980718cfde779a14596c7a86c7e9

大家可以一起换位思考:什么时候MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto529qK2i,你会忍不住攻击一个人?deabb3f8952959ac24268c526b7f387bbf2be8c3

XjVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk4NWI=

答案太多了:MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomexuLGi

c39d26bbf064580ee2fef86493a7ebee

4ffb096344ec813df2281a8105159ef8637502d8

那个人抢了原本属于我的东西;那个人伤害了我;那个人威胁到了我的自身利益;......898eb9abb274497b78cd67334065f341349db3db

  MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomexk7Gi

如果你以上这些行为都没有做的话MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto529tbWi,那么很抱歉QDVjNmQ4NWY4NzljZjI=,对于传播“人际流言”的人来说MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto529y7Gi,可能只有一个原因:IzVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk4OGE=

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomeyqK2i

5a8c4620abb01c0b5b58272f6d5316fc

我讨厌你MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto529zq2i,特别讨厌你5eecceb3485bb6d54c4b054e9920614d,我从未把你当过真正的朋友XjVjNmQ4NWY4NzlmOTc=。但是021785f9a88345bf701d1681f6012992,你对我来说ITVjNmQ4NWY4NzlkMTc=,还有点利用价值815650a76852c9408615bb6eb74d78acITVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk4YmE=

  MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtome8zq2i

MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtome827Gi

b6f8af14c29bbc06a580f23ea9af2e57

259afed89a33fcaff245c53fefa74532b228a9c0

7e18896a0a7d4b0caad8a098b6500726ddb46575

或许MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto56wtcui,这就是假烟假酒假朋友e099274789d8d3efb1627eb6f971a4e9,假情假意假温柔XjVjNmQ4NWY4NzlmYTg=7bd0c229038e2ea2ef93c3e7a3219d62

ad67914d6dfc16c1155722558b356ea5ce651bd3

03MDAwMDAwMDAwMIF9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtome9y6mi

NWM2ZDg1Zjg3OTkwMw==

虽然人际流言很恶心NWM2ZDg1Zjg3OWQzMQ==,但是很遗憾19b2038fe5755d20cc0f84108b05afe6,它不可能消失0628af40aed6cd18c80094d2b3951ac6d22fd6b5。所以17af2707789a673ff77ac0ef85f8e762,我们改变不了这一现象fb1f5866ba456f6a0b16932f4d0e6d69e9ce5c04,就只能做点什么来应对它MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto6C8y6miMDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomiwpbmi

 e853a38595fe29d97274096f1e580685a3ea8aaa

倘若你是流言中的旁观者0c22630bc1e75ed56d0a8f1285008780,不妨换个思路看待“人际流言”IzVjNmQ4NWY4NzlkNWI=,把那些人说的话当作了解群体规则的途径:MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomiwtbmi

5e3c4c82f56ac52d51dda7871b62c82ac3d2858e

当你的朋友聚在一起说谁的不是时1c370c41700ae3d328c0156bf4f0a1f4,其实就是为你免费提供了一个了解内部群体的机会IzVjNmQ4NWY4NzlkNmI=,比如:谁最讨人厌c0d809ee354672d7020d6dfb5ee4353f,哪里讨人厌;谁最受欢迎JTVjNmQ4NWY4NzlkNzk=,哪里最受欢迎;谁最可靠16c035789734f5226e65e69a2b8b23a7,谁最有能力......MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomiwy8ui

0ddc1e2f17ebb7244b20be72118173f596898fb7

掌握了这些信息之后ITVjNmQ4NWY4NzlkODc=,你至少知道了最基本的群体规则QDVjNmQ4NWY4NzlkOGU=,如果你足够机灵b8dcb20faa31642830acebd1304227679cd6a076,你应该能从中找到适合自己的位置KjVjNmQ4NWY4NzlkOWU=,以避免自己成为下一个被讨厌的人e0b6cb0a684caf2bc06dc3ea1bedc5f4。当然0cda637882fdbf5d0d994eccff5bb7ccdd2dc06d,你也可以选择不遵守规则JjVjNmQ4NWY4NzlkYWU=,远离该群体0e61179bef7e8e26b1f14086f61bbf953b48d5f1,坚持做自己1e54b060ae0e5f546d48ab8d092786544933d908MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKtomiw28-i

ITVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk5NDc=

KjVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk5NTA=

b319811819977c208e2eb69394f5bffc

MDAwMDAwMDAwMH6QhZiQpsqVjqCZZLOHomS8sqGi

8dcbdd668dadc9cfa7f6887b4ffbdfe5517614db

 43528c74aa0f67d853d4172e207413ac7681b99a

倘若十分不幸JjVjNmQ4NWY4NzlkYmM=,你是“人际流言”的受害者QDVjNmQ4NWY4NzlkYzM=,你也没必要因为朋友可能会在背后说你坏话da0a027546aa57247acccfc3e0d070aecebdf6d0,就对友谊失去信心865eeff60e6edb2cd90333eb30ee001e,给你的内心上了一把枷锁782d3dad35d6fa4d23fae10e5e7683bd78b69bb8b95c90f9cac1f20d3661bee5ba453672

 KjVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk5ODA=

想想吧MDAwMDAwMDAwMHp9jtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto569pa2i,明明遭受恶意中伤的是你MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto569qLGi,但抚慰、痊愈也只能靠你自己来完成9d0cd5137c162a6775dd99ea46c96f9f,而那些中伤你的人3ec40b6163ae93e947e403f38fdf1dffbe90ac37,却不需要付任何责任MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto6C9pbGicefb53dd95d8232cc767ce71a50d8184dd52bd58

 b66ad9cbe26fe3d978021da17fbf7f08

真正的朋友不会让你难过2db1496aa131f07bbc6a9b2637652b1e,不够朋友的人根本不值得你为他哭泣JTVjNmQ4NWY4NzlmZTQ=IzVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk5OTk=

 e790aa501d773f1c1c64534f8fed3ec44fac2e43

总有一天MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto569zq2i,你会拥有足够稳定的人际关系MDAwMDAwMDAwMHmzjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5-wpbmi,比如一群可爱的家人JTVjNmQ4NWY4NzllMTY=,1-2个可靠的密友MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5-wtcei,这些人完全可以满足你爱与归属的需要f4bce9eda7991f82402f3e3c84f9d6cab197604a。到那时NWM2ZDg1Zjg3OWUyOA==,你就不会总是试图与别人建立关系QDVjNmQ4NWY4NzllMzQ=,而那些关心传来传去的人际流言6966b3d5b2b1fb1b85674747c68eaad0,也不会再受它们影响QDVjNmQ4NWY4NzlmZjQ=JDVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk5YTg=

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而你更不要因为受到“人际流言”的伤害MDAwMDAwMDAwMHujjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5-wk7Wi,就舍弃掉自己的真诚JDVjNmQ4NWY4NzllNGE=,与他们同流合污KjVjNmQ4NWY4NzlmZmI=JTVjNmQ4NWY4Nzk5ZTQ=

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虽然会有人主动破坏友谊3a035b45bb3fd73cbb5ca87862bde000,在朋友背后说三道四QDVjNmQ4NWY4NzllNWM=,但大多数人还是喜欢高质量的友谊MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqNjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5-xuLWi,而且认为信任、承诺、忠诚是高质量友谊的关键因素MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto6C9zrGi。只不过aed34f083c09882e799c376aef10db2fef3df96d,人们可能需要花点时间反复检验这些品质NWM2ZDg1Zjg3YTAwYQ==d5113dd4e8291012e72317266b6739f110064542

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如果你的确是一个真诚可靠的人4418fab4d898dab150743b978076f1ba9193fd9c,时间会让真正重视真诚的人看到你MDAwMDAwMDAwMIijjtCEz7SYgo2LZbJlfKqwqLGi。假如你因为害怕遭到背叛0ea0dcc002c5e6464daa2d3a754bc4d7,而刻意掩盖或改变自己的真诚4b846fbd6cab4c758ae541f851f4e547,就是抹杀了自己的闪光点fc01309075932fb9b22e385809e3dc8dc23ea828XjVjNmQ4NWY4NzlhMDc=

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被好朋友诋毁中伤是痛苦的393ef4c17f3c45685ce0a8fe897cef54,学姐希望小可爱们永远都不要经历NWM2ZDg1Zjg3YTAyMQ==。同时XjVjNmQ4NWY4NzllOTI=,学姐也祝福你们MDAwMDAwMDAwMHqjjtCEz7SYgo2LZbKto5-ytbGi,希望在以后的日子里NWM2ZDg1Zjg3OWVhMQ==,每一个人都能在不算温暖的世界里a8405b5ec27b930359173135f97d369f,收获足够温暖的情谊fcd1dfdc7ca6bfc90a61d1efeef3fd3b575555bbec291b699f2b117577fd75af

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以前的好朋友现在还是你的好朋友吗?你们之间发生过怎样的事?快来下方留言区和学姐分享一下你的故事吧~d40049c95a41ee150fe8ddf243d757f7

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